[ti]private[/ti]Home Invasion

Heist movies have always been Mars’ favourite kind. They just have it all, you know? Action, suspense, drama, an overly elaborate plan that’s bound to go wrong in some way at one point or another, and of course, the sickest special effects.

Cue a Cryogonal’s HAZE.

Probably unnecessary considering that this is mere breaking-and-entering in a video game and no actual heist, but you know, at least Tuesday looks fucking cool when coming out of the dark mist. Her mismatched eyes glimmer with confidence under the moonlight, her cat ears point up to the skies, her blonde hair is neatly tied up, and it’s from head to toe that she’s clad in black… or, well, rather from head to ankles – no shoes to be found.

”Morgana, I’m not wearing a ski mask.” And just like that, the illusion is broken. Still, nothing in this virtual world seems capable of shaking Tuesday’s confidence, and it’s with a smirk that she attempts to flick her hair back… only to end up flicking air because her hair is tied. Whoops. No worries, she’s still cool, right? ”The cameras should capture me in all of my glory.”

Obviously, that’s what all this is really about, right?

Despite her own words, she takes the “collectable hat” from Bergamot Gristleborg, because you know, free stuff.

”Psshhh… No, no… Jumping over the fence would be way cooler. Like this, look.”

She places a gloved hand on the fence, fully intending to jump over it. It would work too, except for one minor yet crucial miscalculation: Mars had forgotten that Tuesday is much shorter than what he’s used to, and so even though IRL something like this would be no issue for him, Tuesday ends up tripping over the fence and falling face-first in Mom’s backyard.

The fence shakes, and with a creaking sound, the gate that had been only a couple of metres away opens. It had been unlocked.

Bergamot Gristleborg is right, she had done a nice job!

Obviously this had all been part of the plan; every step being completely intentional. Yep! See, it had been necessary for Tuesday to trip over the fence, fall, and cause a ruckus, because—...

"Ah!...Ehem... I mean..." The sudden appearance of the Lillipup startles her, but of course UNOVR's best Alchemist is quick in her recovery. Clearing her throat, Tuesday stands, dirt being brushed off her clothes as if it were nothing at all. "I see my plan to flush out any potential threads worked as intended. Good thinking with your Mini_Codie, Bergamot."

All according to plan.

Now, what was the next part of the plan?

Right... Getting through the tall grass to reach the back porch of MOM'S HOUSE.

"Ancile." Tuesday must have suddenly decided that silence is of utmost importance, because she calls out to the Cryogonal with the most quiet of whispers.

<'YES, MY LIEGE?'> In response, Ancile does not whisper.

"Shhhhhhh. Pass me your chain and follow Morgana's little pet thing." As Tuesday whispers, the Cryogonal does, and one end of its frozen chain is gentle and carefully placed in his master's gloved hands. Tuesday holds it, and so, they go, led by a Mini_Codie which the sentient snowflake dutifully follows.

With this not-at-all-needlessly-elaborate plan, they reach the door in no time, but then comes their next obstacle:

"Do you think it'll be locked?" Tuesday asks Morgana. Logic dictates that yes, but then again, UNOVR is a game, and at this point in time, their nameless settlement is barely more than a few tents.

"Morgana." Tuesday whispers in the way people whisper when they actually want to yell, all but hissing the budding villainess' name.

However, her reproach comes too late.

Like a parent sitting at the living room couch in the darkness, waiting for the rebellious misbehaved child to return home from the party they had snuck out to attend, Mom finds them. Except that in this case there is no real scolding or punishment (quite unrealistic, in Tuesday's experience). Instead, what they get is... an invitation to come in and hot cocoa?!

Definitely unrealistic.

However, who is Tuesday to say no to hot cocoa? It isn't exactly keto-friendly, but what Mars refuses to enjoy in real life, Tuesday is allowed to enjoy in game with no repercussions whatsoever. That is the beauty of deep dive VR. Forget about Darkrai, maybe the menú is the real appeal of Mom's House.

Or, maybe it's the tutorial rewards...

Mom runs off to get them new RUNNING SHOES, and there, at the top right of her line of sight, Tuesday sees the magic words:

TUTORIAL 001 - PUMPED-UP KICKS

Ah, of course.

What did mom always tell dad about muddy feet? It feels like a test, a quiz, like she'll fail if she doesn't give the right answer—...

"Uhmm... That just because mud is a great skin treatment, often recommended by dermatologists, he shouldn't go around jumping in every puddle he sees?"

"Exactly!"

Oh.

If Tuesday remembers the story correctly, her own father had supposedly fallen victim to a Firecracker Red Jeep Wrangler. Maybe his fondness for mud had something to do with that.

Anyway! Mom offers her a box and the sneakers within it are black. Nice. Wait, is that logo a... leaping Persian?

"Ah, he never learned. I guess the Applin really never falls far from the tree, no? Put these on. You too Bergamot Gristleborg. Really, you know what happens to children who go around leaving muddy footprints everywhere!"

What does happens to children who go around leaving muddy footprints everywhere?

It sounds like some sort of cautionary fairy tale, but whatever Morgana's answer is, Tuesday barely listens — being much more preoccupied with her hot cocoa and her new prize. She loves presents.