[ti]closed[/ti][002] To The Cloud District

Sprigatito beams at Verai. <You’re welcome!> He’s just happy to be helpful, especially after not aiding in the fight.

“The what?!” Kazuki snaps, irritated at having been disturbed despite his punching bag already being KO’D for a while now. He looks over his shoulder to see Verai already pummeling another bandit, the other wagon ahead apparently having been stopped by the commotion.

“You are so demanding,” Kazuki huffs, but does get up, albeit on slightly shaky legs. He is feeling better, though, after the extended comatose state in the wagon, but his body still hurts like a bitch.

Now: the egg.

Sprigatito hops out of the wagon, following after his trainer, his worried eyes glancing over Verai. <Um! What are we doing?>

Kazuki raises a brow, not understanding the cat’s mewling. He continues on, muttering to himself: “Where’s that fucking egg…”

He searches the front of the wagon, chucking out all sorts of trinkets and stolen loot. Not there.

The next wagon requires a little more elbow grease, because the bandits manning it are actually alive. Kazuki solves this without using his head this time: he lets Sprigatito blind them with leaves first, and then takes his fist at them. This surprisingly goes down much better than just charging straight into a gaggle of angry thieves.

He returns looking a little more beat-up, hair in knots, but carrying the egg. “They even kept the carrier.” He extends it expectantly to Verai.

Kazuki grins, watching Verai put the little pink egg harness back on. The bandits were no longer stirring, so then came the next concern.

“Still pretty damn far,” he says, having finally pulled open his UI. The quest marker remained twice as far as the distance they’ve already covered—being kidnapped, which is impressive, and also bullshit. He clicks his tongue, eyes scanning down. “It’s all been plotted out. Overcome three obstacles: Defeat the bandits, escape the forest, and find the recipient. Only the first one’s finished.”

At the mention of the carriage, he raises his eyes, gives Verai a flat look. “I live in the twenty-first century, Ver. Of course, I haven’t driven a fucking carriage.”

5 minutes later, he’s dragged Verai to sit with him at the front of one of the carriages. The back has been stuffed full of loot. There is a pile of unconscious (dead?) bandits left on the clearing, all of them hogtied, and also in their underpants.

“Now how hard could this be?” It’s like a sports car, but the engine neighs. He grabs the reins in front of them, immediately cracking them like whips.

The two Mudsdale in front suddenly came to life—their eyes full of fury. With mighty roars, both the large steeds galloped forwards at a terrifying rate, causing the entire carriage to rattle and bounce with every bump of stone.

Sprigatito cries out in fear and excitement, also sitting in front, his fur flying in the wind. His claws have dug into the wood of the seats, bracing for dear life as they blitz through the forest on the stolen carriage, quite literally crushing everything in their path.

Despite the very imminent threat of a grand theft auto-related death by horse, Kazuki seems to be having quite a lot of fun. He’s holding onto the reins with white knuckles, his ass nearly toppling over the edge of its seat with every bump they hit, and through it all he continues cackling.

“Are you questioning my driving skills?” he says, somehow offended, as Verai snaps at him for his reckless driving. “Sit your ass down, we’re making good time.”

This good time is of course in exchange for countless damages to wildlife and the unfortunate properties left in their path. The Mudsdale are basically high-powered bulldozers, turning everything in their path, forests included, into nothing more than pixel art.

They smash through the tree line. “Hmm,” Kazuki says, pulling up his fucking UI as Verai pleads for his life by his ear, “the mansion’s close. Right over… there.”

There is a hill. At the top of said hill is a quaint-looking estate where, in front, is a luxurious garden full of hedges and fluttering Beautifly.

And even further in front of that, lies a cliff.

“Gird your loins, ladies,” Kazuki grins, snapping away his UI and grabbing the reins with both hands. He flings the reins, doing the horse-drawn carriage equivalent of slamming the fucking gas.

Sprigatito pops out of Verai’s arms, eyes turned to swirls and head swaying in circles. He spits out a clump of red and black fluff before managing to speak. <Uhh… could I have a minute before we do it again...> When Verai lets him go, he flops on the ground, shaking himself before getting back up on his feet.

Kazuki barely had time to recover before he’s tackled, his sore spot bumping against the seat. Verai has his collar in his grip, and just as Kazuki grins, bracing for a punch or some choice words, the lady of the mansion calls down from a marble balustrade.

Kazuki scoffs, peeling Verai’s hands off him. “Well, you heard her. Better calm down.” He grins, leering at him. “Rage isn’t good for the baby, Ver.”

He jumps off the carriage. A butler has already come bustling out from the sprawling entrance steps, aghast. “Goodness! How on earth did you bring that here? No vehicles should have made it past the bridge!”

Oh, so there was a bridge. Kazuki tosses him the reins without looking at him. It slaps the poor man in the eyes. “Park this, would you?” he doesn’t wait for the butler to finish sputtering obscenities before heading up the steps.

Verai doesn’t need to call for him. Kazuki’s already squinting at the hall of identical portraits, rubbing his chin as if constructing a Punnett square in his head, except it’s less of a square and more like pea. “Those are some strong as fuck genes,” he chuckles.

Lady Toddigan’s rambling is thankfully cut by Verai, but he makes the fatal mistake of admitting what every rich person dreads to know: that they are essentially nobody to the general populace.

“Excuse him,” Kazuki says, patting Verai in the chest, right over his pastel pink egg harness. “It’s just that this is one very expensive and pretty egg. We figured it was for you.”

Her expression switches in an instant, flushing, though with her Elizabethan makeup it’s hard to tell what’s blood and what’s crushed wurmple. “Oh, you flatterer!” She waves her other hand, her laugh flute-like, causing Kazuki’s smile to crack for a second, but she’s thankfully too busy preening to notice.

“Sooo… where is the little br—thday boy?” Kazuki asks, looking around and seeing only the unblinking gazes of a thousand Todds frozen in time.

“My little babykins has been so excited for his gift, he hasn’t been able to sit still! He could be anywhere.” Lady Toddigan pouts, looking around as if missing a pet Furfrou instead of her literal child. “But I’m so busy with preparations for his party. The renovations for the courtyard haven’t even been completed—we’re making it four times bigger!”

Kazuki’s smile drops then, straight into a glower. “You’re going to make us find him, aren’t you?”

Lady Toddigan is already at the end of the hall. “Consider it a feature! You’ll get to finish your little errand and meet my precious little babykins! Ta-ta!”

There’s a bump on Kazuki’s foot. Looking down reveals it to be Sprigatito, who has made the odyssey from the entrance to his trainer in his new fancy booties. He collapses, screaming.

Kazuki clicks his tongue. As entertaining as the sight of Verai cursing out the lady of the house is, doing so won’t help diminish the absolute pain in the ass this task will pose. They had signed up for delivery, not as a search party.

Verai scoops up the cats (expected) and they head to the hall, where a large map has been mounted on the wall. A sign posted by it reminds visitors to 'Please be mindful of where you’re going, and if you get lost, stay where you are and wait for staff to come get you'.

“Why would you want to search in a closet?” Kazuki says to him, and it’s very apparent by the smug look on his face that he means something else. “The brat’s waiting for his egg. Let’s try the KITCHENS. If anyone’s given a shit about him, it’s probably the servants anyway.”

They’re led down the marble foyer that connects every area of the mansion. Two massive windows are poised over the grand staircase, bathing both flights of steps in light, and of course, smack dab in the middle, looking down on all of them with a severe countenance, is a large portrait of HOWARD TODDIGAN, V XVI. Sprigatito hisses at it.

“Whoever designed this map…” Kazuki grumbles as they hurry down to the kitchens.

The first person they encounter is a frazzled baker toting a towering platter of sweets. “Look out! Make way!” The kitchens are huge and occupied by a staff of overworked, flour-covered cooks and bakers. The baker huffs, flour puffing off her cheeks. “No guests allowed in the kitchens! We already have our hands full preparing for the young lord’s party.” She grunts, struggling to hold the huge platter. “Ugh, just look at this. 999 SWEETROLLS and we’ve still got plenty to make.” It is exhausting, making so much food, knowing most of it will go to waste in the palates of these snooty nobles.

As they’re shooed out of the kitchens, Kazuki takes the time to snap up a couple of the delectable sweetrolls, the harried baker too preoccupied playing pastry jenga to notice. He trails after Verai through the hallway leading to the DINING ROOM, inspecting the ever-present HOWARD TODDIGAN GALLERY like a visitor to a zoo exhibit, shoving a treat in his face with his pockets lined with flour.

And, much like their brief foray into the kitchens, an NPC servant spots them and immediately comes to kick them out as if they’re pests. Kazuki rolls his eyes, chewing on a roll. “Who do you think wer lookin’ frr?” He says, talking with his mouth full, as if he was raised in a barn rather than by two sophisticated and respectable parents.

The butler raises a brow. “Sir, is that... a sweetroll?”

“Come on, Ver. Let’s check someplace else.” He grabs him by the back of his clothes and drags him out, fingerpainting the fabric with sugar.

Behind them, Sprigatito enters the room in a hurry. He has the expression of a puffer fish. He quickly makes a run for Kitten, stumbling on his little legs to shove what he’s holding in his mouth. <MRR’N! LRYU’ WHU AY GO’!> He says, eagerly trying to share his stolen sweetroll.

"Kitchens are out. Dining Room’s out.” Kazuki chuckles. “Alright, let’s go with your suggestion. Let’s get in the closet.”

The CLOSET in question is a walk-in located in the master bedroom. The bedroom itself is about as grandiose as the rest of the mansion, bearing a canopy bed of Gulliver proportions, though there isn’t anything Kazuki can peg to be Lady Toddigan’s possessions. Just more portraits. And hyperrealistic Toddigan busts.

Kazuki saunters over the Ursaring carpets and throws the closet open.

He is greeted with cold air.

“Come out, brat! You–what the fuck?”