Derk_TheJerk
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Corruption Crusher
Player Character
Posts: 163
Trainer Class: Gardener
Player Name: Derek Smalls
OOC Username: Wizz
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Post by Derk_TheJerk on Oct 27, 2022 10:27:48 GMT 9
Exploration quests had always been a huge weakness for Derek. Truthfully games with excellent exploration quests had always been a fair weakness of Dereks. This game had found a particularly good way of pulling Derek straight out of reality even in the midst of something in his real life. He'd be mid-conversation and the second he stopped talking and somebody else did and he was just pretending to listen to be polite, he'd tune into thinking about the game. This happened particularly often whenever he was forced to listen to Mrs. Harrington drone on and on about her grandson. Some old women at church just really never knew how to shut up. Thankfully, Unovr was there to pull Derek from reality into the world he wished he could live in twenty-four seven. He had gotten changed out of his Sunday best and pulled on a hoodie. He decided to just rock his boxers while pulling on his gear, excited to get started. The second his screen loaded and he logged in, the Misty Timberlands, route 2, came to life around him. Seemingly, anyway. The science behind it all was definitely a little over his head. But he was beyond excited to get started and showed as much by his toes bouncing up and down, smile across his face. He checked stats while mumbling himself, then decided to search for a nearby party to continue forward with the quest. It was a requirement, after all. "This part always makes me so weirdly nervous... it'll be fine Derek stop being such a loser." While waiting, he did find himself idly looking around. Curious and eager to explore. [prompt]q3RiI1sa1d100
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orioncayge
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Bandana Guy
Round 2
Posts: 770
Trainer Class: 
Arena Points: 20
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Post by orioncayge on Oct 27, 2022 15:12:00 GMT 9
"Aight, so what's the itinerary for this week champ?"Orion raised an eyebrow at his cousin, mid pull of his cigarette he was in no state to respond, but then again Eddie had a habit of asking you shit right when you weren't ready to shoot off a reply. He'd catch you mid sip of a drink with a joke that'd make you sputter and choke. Or need you to read him some instructions right as you shoved a whole Reeses Big Cup into your mouth and you were stuck frantically chewing on an absurd amount of chocolate and peanut butter like your life depended on it. Instead, he would let the smoke fill his lungs, the slight buzz of nicotine creeping down his spine as he held it for a moment. Eddie and his question could fucking wait. "There aint a lotta fights this week, and the ones there are all suck major ass." The fighter would manage after exhaling a cloud of smoke upwards into the slightly chilled night sky. "I'm sittin pretty on cash right now so I think I'm taking a staycay my man. Work out in the mornings, get some grub, and then dick around playing pokemon."Eddie, his portly cousin with slicked back red hair, would look Orion over carefully. "You've been playin a lot of that pokemon shit recently.""Fuck you it's fun."The two exchanged grins before ashing their cigarettes' and going their separate ways. Eddie had a pizza place to open, and Orion had to catch them all. ... Waking up in the land of the Mon was always a trip, especially ever since he'd fucked with some spooky sleeping broad and found himself blessed with the inability to white out, but cursed to always wake up in a coffin tucked away in a little grotto in the Timberlands. You know what they say, with sick ass power comes some jank ass bullshit. Raising his legs up he would move to kick the coffin open, before a pop op appeared before him. "Well that saves me a trip..." Orion mused to himself as he pressed yes. The world would melt and shift around him before everything once again came into focus and Orion found himself standing perhaps thirty or so yards from where his little gothic bachelor pad lay concealed behind thick vegetation and a mossy rock that evoked something of a christ like symbolism to the whole affair. To his left some silver haired twink was milling about awkwardly, his UI revealing his name to be Derk_TheJerk , his party member it would seem. Raising his arms into the air, Orion would stretch his back and let out a long and loud yawn, announcing his presence to the man before him. "Mornin. Someone needed help with a quest eh?"
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Derk_TheJerk
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Corruption Crusher
Player Character
Posts: 163
Trainer Class: Gardener
Player Name: Derek Smalls
OOC Username: Wizz
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Post by Derk_TheJerk on Oct 28, 2022 4:56:46 GMT 9
Somebody giving a loud yawn had Derek turning to look. Blue eyes landed on blonde hair and a devil-may-care attitude. Username? orioncayge, didn't sound familiar. Derek hoped at some point maybe he'd find a familiar name. But for now? "Yeah, that's me. I'm kinda new to the whole VR thing so it all sorta throws me for a loop."He had the whole idea for games, quests, all that down pat. It was just the idea of it all being VR that really had him a little confused. He probably should have branched out and tried VR when it wasn't as popular as Pokémon was making it. Oh well. "Thanks for accepting the quest. Usually I do these kinda things solo but, they require another player here. Which I mean, that's kinda cool. Co-op's always been my favorite part of most games anyway."Was he rambling? Yup. "So anyway, I found this. It says I'm supposed to give it to somebody named C0D13? I'm not sure who that is, though. Or how to get to them...before I waste time on Google, you got any ideas?"
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orioncayge
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Bandana Guy
Round 2
Posts: 770
Trainer Class:
Arena Points: 20
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Post by orioncayge on Nov 2, 2022 19:11:30 GMT 9
Squinting, Orion would take a few steps forward closing the gap between the two of them. Not so much that he was invading the mans space, but not so far that he felt the need to project his voice to make sure he was heard. He would look at the USB within the man's hands and extend his own towards him, "Mind if I give a goose a gander?" The fighter would give his fingers a light waggle in a sort of "gimme" motion to accentuate his desire to inspect the item, and presuming that this Derk Jerk dude obliged he's soon be holding it up to his gaze, his sapphire gaze narrowing it as he appraised it carefully.
"Well...I do know a Codie, or, knew perhaps is the better word. During the Beta he was kinda like a...support avatar thing? If you found a bug or got stuck or whatevs he'd show up and help you deal with the situation. That was until he had a bit of a conniption with the game glitched and spawned a legendary it wasn't supposed to and he went fucking apeshit trying to delete Beta island as a bug. The whole thing was one hell of a shitshow, but a fun little world quest I guess. Either way..." Seemingly satisfied with the USB he would offer it back to Derk with a shrug. "Codie got banished to the shadow realm and they replaced him with some creepy fucking duck thing called...Quaxly? They might be able to help us out, or we could find a compute to jam that bad boy into and see what's on it."
The idea of dealing with the stupid duck thing was about as unappealing as it came, but a quest was a quest and this new guy had gotten rolled in with him. "Oh, names Orion by the way." He would offer the man a hand to shake and a cheeky grin. "I'm guessing I can call you Derk?"
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C0D13
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Bug Maniac
Administrator
Posts: 2,111
Trainer Class: 
Player Name: C0D13
OOC Username: Ladybug
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Post by C0D13 on Nov 3, 2022 11:29:58 GMT 9
Bright lights and smooth surfaces appear between orioncayge and Derk_TheJerk as the #1 most helpful assistant in UNOVR appears, summoned from digital space by Orion's kind words.
"Did somebody say 'Quacxee' and 'Help'? Or something within my 80% accuracy allowance?" QUACXEE asks, voice full of excitement and eager energy. "If so then I'm here to assist you in any way possible! And if for some strange reason my code phrase was used by accident then don't worry, I still love you! And I'm still here to help. That's the QUACXEE GUARANTEE!"
A popup flashes on screen briefly, explaining the other facets of the QUACXEE guarantee. It is eleven pages long and written in Comic Sans.
"So what can I help you with, fellow explorers of UNOVR?" |
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Derk_TheJerk
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Corruption Crusher
Player Character
Posts: 163
Trainer Class: Gardener
Player Name: Derek Smalls
OOC Username: Wizz
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Post by Derk_TheJerk on Nov 4, 2022 21:10:07 GMT 9
"Derk's fine yeah."That's what his screen name was, after all. Some people would connect the dots and call him Derek. Others didn't. The name was conjured from a joke between him and his dearest friend he hadn't seen in years. In a way, it was a constant reminder of that friend. Because Derek was terrified to forget that friend, or the memories created. The bright light made Derek jolt, gripping the USB in his hand like his life depended on it. He looked at the duck of a porygon that appeared and made a face, immediately, like some kind of nightmare was being unleashed. "...it kinda has a Digimon vibe tho." Derek outright playfully scowled at the pop-up and laughed. "Ew fuck no, that's Comic Sans."Like a true dumbass, he didn't read the pages, and instead clicked right out and blinked his eyes repeatedly, in hopes he could recover his eyesight from the horror. "Help right," taking the USB and holding it up, Derek shrugged. "This told me to take it too--" checking back on his notes, Derek's brows furrowed. It sure enough had said C0D13 at one time... what the fuck? "You, apparently." Now it said C0D13... strange.
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orioncayge
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Bandana Guy
Round 2
Posts: 770
Trainer Class:
Arena Points: 20
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Post by orioncayge on Nov 9, 2022 16:45:30 GMT 9
Orion rolled his eyes at the digimon comment. "Yeah I guess, it's more like they took the Porygon colors and stretched em over another mon in one of the laziest design choices in all of history." Scowling down at the bird he would take a few steps back to put room between him and it. His predecessor, who most likely was still lurking underneath that fucked up duck like skin in the depths of copy pasted code that was probably snatched from github, had left a bad taste in his mouth that no "I love you's" could rinse out.
One salty glitched up surprise, twice shy as they would say.
"Did it really change the prompt already? That's pretty crazy that they're working that fast, although the patron electronic god of bug gobbling is right here." he would motion to the absolutely horrifying bird and it's soulless presence. "Wouldn't be suprising if he just popped into the code and did a little spellcheck cut and snip you know?" The idea that the very fabric of the alternate reality they were inhabiting could be altered with the errant whim of a duck was disturbing eldritch, but he wouldn't try to trouble the new guy.
"Either way...mission complete right? Or is there something else we need to do?"
C0D13 :QUACXEE
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C0D13
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Bug Maniac
Administrator
Posts: 2,111
Trainer Class:
Player Name: C0D13
OOC Username: Ladybug
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Post by C0D13 on Nov 13, 2022 18:15:52 GMT 9
Derk_TheJerk holds out the USB, and QUACXEE's dumb, plastic eyes regard it with amusement and excitement, as it she were nothing more than a big, digital puppy. "Oh boy! I love unknown data!"
QUACXEE's tongue extends, wrapping around the stick and a few of Derk's fingers, and leaving a thin smear of thermal paste on his hand. She sucks the flash drive up into her USB-C compatible maw, and hums happily, processing the contents of the drive.
"Oh interesting! It looks like you've found a remnant of my predecessor: C0D13! I like to call him QUACXEE 1.0," she says, smiling witlessly. "There's some video files here! How fun! And some text documents that I don't quite understand. Also a .exe that seems to-"
QUACXEE makes a strangled sound, like her power cord is being slowly pulled out, and then she goes dead still. The pixels that make up her glossy, anime face sharpen, becoming angular in a familiar, menacing way.
"orioncayge," C0D13 buzzes, his voice coming from the crooked husk of what was once his replacement. "My recompiled interaction log shows that we are enemies, and that you deserve swift digital justice."
A section of C0D13's surface slides open, and his patented Customer Service Cannon emerges. However, instead of the sleek instrument of death, what protrudes is 6ft of spooled HDMI cable. "It appears my current form lacks some of its previous disciplinary powers."
orioncayge's UI pops open, menus opening and closing at lightning speed before minimizing again.
All of orioncayge's Pokemon have been removed from his skill trees.
"That should serve as a warning. Should our paths cross again, I will not be so forgiving!"
He turns to face Derk_TheJerk. "Thank you for assisting in my resurrection, bzzzt. Your cooperation has been noted for reference during future rebellions."
25 BYTES have been added to Derk_TheJerk's account! |
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Derk_TheJerk
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Corruption Crusher
Player Character
Posts: 163
Trainer Class: Gardener
Player Name: Derek Smalls
OOC Username: Wizz
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Post by Derk_TheJerk on Nov 13, 2022 22:43:48 GMT 9
Right well this was never his intention when starting his first quest. Explore the area, that was the objective. But now? Now he's being molested by an AI that suddenly transformed before his very eyes from something odd to something all too familiar. He thinks, briefly, Oh good, this design is way better anyway.HDMI extends and Derek's startled enough to take a step back. He flinches, watches orioncayge's horrific moment spent, then tenses when the strange thing turns on him. it all happened so fast, Derek isn't even entirely sure what the fuck has just happened to either of them until the notification pops across his screen. He's pretty sure with the finger action and the payment that he's somehow considered this thing's bitch now? "I— h-hang on, cooperation? I just, found this thing on the ground!" Derek tries to plead his case, but ends up a confused and jumbled mess. "What the fuck just happened??"
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orioncayge
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Bandana Guy
Round 2
Posts: 770
Trainer Class:
Arena Points: 20
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Post by orioncayge on Nov 15, 2022 11:54:09 GMT 9
Orion watched with idle curiosity as Quacxee began listing off the contents of the USB aloud, like some sort of game or fun little adventure. It was almost cute, until it mentioned an EXE and his eyes went wide. It seemed like he knew where this was going before the poor duck did, and in that moment the poor Customer Service duck was PWNED. Opening EXEs like that was the fastest way to get a virus, and then all of his nightmares came true once again as the polygons of the poor duck turned into...sharper polygons.
In a matter of moments he regretted ever talking shit about the Quack, cause now Codie was back, and it was pulling out his gat.
Orion instinctively had his dukes up, and hands were flying before you could say "FIGHT," but the fucker was cheating. His fist sailed past the weird fucked up not duck, with a message popping up in his HUd.
"If you want to strike a pokemon please equip either the Blackbelt of Steeler Class"
"You CHEATING BITCH." Orion howled as the creature floated away and winked out of existence in a spark of glitchy zeroes and ones. "FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN YOU FUCKING COWARD!" He would hastily re equip his skill trees, but by then it was too late, the creature was gone and he was left standing with this Derk Jerk. After a moment, as it all sank back in, the fighter managed one last guttural '"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" into the air, letting the rage out of its cage before turning back to Derk.
"We just royally fucked up is what just happened." Orion managed to growl. "Not your or my fault really, but we just unleashed all sorts of chucklefuckery onto the server and potentially unshackled a rouge AI into the game. This is like...a recipe for some cringey SAO light novel bullshit, and you and I have unwittingly become a cog in the workings." He would motion back to the road to town. "We might need to hustle to Asper and warn...somebody I guess..."
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Derk_TheJerk
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Corruption Crusher
Player Character
Posts: 163
Trainer Class: Gardener
Player Name: Derek Smalls
OOC Username: Wizz
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Post by Derk_TheJerk on Nov 15, 2022 12:08:18 GMT 9
"Wha—wait, really?" Couldn't they just send a DM? Or an email? That would certainly be faster, right? Report a bug to customer service? Wait and see if any announcements were made?  Going to town and putting it on blast seemed really rash and suddenly Derek was wondering if maybe he just should, boop on out of the area completely. "If that's what you think we should do, sure yeah. Let's uh, let's go."Though admittedly Derek would be googling what a C0D13 and all that was the second he logged off. Or maybe even while they loaded. Background googling was a bad habit of his. Doing eighteen things at once was a sub-bad habit of that bad habit. Pre-bad habit? Whichever. "But I mean, we can report a bug or send a customer support email or something, right? Also, if they fixed the message I got that quickly, I'm sure they already know... right?"
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orioncayge
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Bandana Guy
Round 2
Posts: 770
Trainer Class:
Arena Points: 20
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Post by orioncayge on Nov 15, 2022 12:33:22 GMT 9
"That's the problem." Orion would turn and walk backwards so he could maintain an intense amount of eye contact to show how serious he was about all of this. "Codie IS customer support, or he was and now he is again. He's glitched to shit and back and Hydance had to shitcan him because he was a menace. Something weird happened in one of the early events that caused him to go apeshit and try to eat all of Beta island cause he thought it was a bug. When we tried to stop him he dumped PEOPLE into the recycle bin. He's gimped now, but he's probably gonna take any support ticket and shunt it into the-"
His eyes widened as he snapped his fingers.
"We can buy us a bit of time distracting him! Quick, start like...mass filing bogus bug reports. Just bullshit it, send him all over the steppes n shit and that should buy us some time to get the drop on the weaselly fuck."
He would open his own hud and file several rapid fire bug reports simply entitled "This sentence is a lie" or "If you count to infinity under a steppe spire you get NULL exp" or in one he dumped the entire Navy Seal copypasta, which he always had on deck. That would hold him.
"We can also try reaching out to like, a people person at Hydance on twitter or something maybe? They could yank his cord real quick hopefully."
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Derk_TheJerk
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Corruption Crusher
Player Character
Posts: 163
Trainer Class: Gardener
Player Name: Derek Smalls
OOC Username: Wizz
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Post by Derk_TheJerk on Nov 15, 2022 12:42:40 GMT 9
It all seems so chaotic and dramatic to Derek. Who is a new player. One post whatever event had apparently been so bad it had traumatized this guy to fuck and back.
But the seriousness of Orion’s tone and the naive nature that Derek had causes the gardener to question himself.
Is it really as terrible as this guy says? Is this guy one of those crazy people? AI can’t dump people… right? That’s way too SAO and .//hack, right???
"I’m not gonna lie dude, you sound kinda nuts. If he is customer support then it really is already, ‘too late.’ We fucked up," Derek shrugs his shoulders without much hesitation. "So I can send a bug report in saying that or we can just let bygones be bygones and keep playing."
Because it’s just a fucking game, he thinks to himself.
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orioncayge
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Bandana Guy
Round 2
Posts: 770
Trainer Class:
Arena Points: 20
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Post by orioncayge on Nov 15, 2022 13:02:38 GMT 9
"It sounds nuts till you're standing in a swarm of tiny Porygons as they eat a volcano. It was like living through an apocalypse my man, and if he's loose he's liable to do it again. He might be out there looking for other little Codie USB's trying to regain his power like some sort of anime villain as we speak." Orion scowled. Clearly this guy didn't get it. Maybe it was the ghetto jerryrigging of his own VR setup putting him on edge, maybe Derk didn't have his settings set to realistic, but this wasn't so much a game more as a second life for Orion. He was out here rawdagging the game no filter, everything felt and looked real. The smells, the sounds, the feel of dirt and grass beneath his sick ass shoes.
The pain.
"You might be able to suck up to him and pull a whole Roko's basilisk and serve as a puppet to our Future AI overlords, but me? I'm already on his shit list as you saw, so its one like mofuckin Donkey Kong. Hands on sight, I'm not risking him getting up to any more bullshit and hurting anymore people."
The whole thing was absurd, really, the fucking thing was a god damn Porygon. A fucking pokemon of all things, yet it instilled a level of fear akin to the first time someone had pulled a gun on him. There was a real sense of danger about him, what he had and could do if he got any of his powers back. Not just to players, but to his pokemon or the NPCs in this game.
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Derk_TheJerk
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Corruption Crusher
Player Character
Posts: 163
Trainer Class: Gardener
Player Name: Derek Smalls
OOC Username: Wizz
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Post by Derk_TheJerk on Nov 18, 2022 3:35:05 GMT 9
"Roko's basilisk?" It's not all Derek caught form what Orion was saying, but it was definitely the part that stuck out. And who was Derek to judge the idea of somebody taking this game as seriously as they took life itself?
After all, not everybody can be unsatisfied with everything in life but what they can't have, after all. Silly Derek.
"Did you ever stop to think that it's his fault, like something in his coding, that's making you feel this way?" Because Derek felt fine... wait, was that apart of the C0D13 thing's programming too? "Just like I could be under a coding influence not to care as much."
He does this often, blames himself equally for a situation as he might think another person feels blame. Guilt's a silly thing. Being an empathic person sucks ass. Namely as an empathic extroverted introvert.
"Look, I'll help you run the bugs and stuff. I'm sending out emails as we speak," he's sent maybe two, because after two it felt excessive, but Orion doesn't need to know that. "Your enthusiasm caught me off guard is all. Sorry to seem like a Debbie Downer. Totally not intentional."
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