Ding-Dong [tutorial]

"I think you mean our home," said Big Bee, whose mini-map had lead him to the same house. It seemed that in the whole of UNOVR there was only one starting house, and a single, communal Mom. Bryan had grown up in a house of five, very active kids, who had worn his parents down to barely functioning nubs with their combined extracurriculars. Bryan wanted kids some day. Actually, maybe just 'kid'. One would be more than enough.   

"I'm Big Bee, this is great, isn't it? Just like the games," he said, smiling and sticking out his hand in a warm greeting that was so relentlessly practiced that it was sure to seamlessly ingratiate him with the young trainer. He could almost feel the five-star reviews rolling in already.

He's pretty young, Bryan thought, looking over the fresh-faced character.

His smile almost faltered. It was only through sheer, tooth-clenching control that he kept his face straight.

Fuck. He's a kid. Oh shit. Oh Bryan you idiot you've fucked it up right from square one. Chilling lines of digital sweat rolled down Big Bee's back as the game responded to his increased heartrate.

He made a kid. Trainers are supposed to be kids! 10 years old! Just like Ash! Dammit dammit dammit! He's the only one that's seen me. I can still edit my character and age them down. It's fine! How much is a character re-spec? Is it 200 BYTES? I've only got fifty! Should I just make a new character?

Big Bee was saved from this spiral by their Mom answering the doorbell. "Hey my little Scorbunnies! You two look like you're heading off on an adventure," said the serene mother of multitudes. "I can't believe the day has already come, it's just like the fortune-teller told me the day you were born," she continued, opening the front door wide and retreating into their house. She drifted towards the kitchen and threw open another door, this time revealing a pantry full of stacked boxes of Rapidas branded running shoes.

"I always make it a point to go right after they let me out of the hospital. They tell me I should stay overnight, but honestly I just need to sleep in my own bed. There's nothing like waking up to the sounds of the Pidove warbling in the trees after a hard labor. Besides, the pillows in the maternity ward are too soft, and-" she heaved at what turned out to be a keystone box, and a whole column of shoes and dried food came crashing down, spilling pasta and inner soles across the floor.

"Mom!" Big Bee said, rushing forward to dig the woman out of the pile. 

"I used to play basketball," Big Bee told Yggy, as the 'brothers' cleaned up the Rapidaslanche. "But I'm more into surfing and climbing these days." He hauled out another armful of fallen boxes and tried to rebuild the towers, keeping the food and the footwear separated.

"I think this'll be enough exercise for today though," he said, wiping his forehead. He was still sweaty from his freak-out at the door, but had disguised it artfully as exertion from their digital workout. "Do you think this burns any calories?"

When they'd finished re-stacking the pantry, Mom returned with refreshments. "Here you are my hard workers!" she said, handing Big Bee a mason jar berry smoothie. It was an outrageous swirl of electric purple and molten gold, with a little sprig of mint stuck into the foaming mix. "Thanks Mom!" he said, getting used to the idea of having such a charming woman as his mother. Big Bee took a sip of his smoothie. It was amazing. "Whoa! This is the best drink I've ever had!" he exclaimed, and Mom's face lit up with sheer delight. 

She gave another tinkling laugh and set the tray down on the kitchen bench. "Anything for my special boys." She laughed again. "You two look like a pair of Mime Jr's with those flushed cheeks," she said. "Though, I suppose..." she trailed off, the cheer draining from her voice. "I suppose you're Mr. Mimes now...All grown up and leaving the nest. Spreading your wings and learning to fly like those Pidoves in the big oak tree out back." She took a deep breath, looking lost.

Big Bee felt lost too. What was happening? Was she sad now? How was he supposed to deal with that? She was just a program, right? An NPC? So why did he feel so out of his depth? Should he give her a hug? 

"That's just how kids are. You'll find that out for yourself one day. Some times they leave right on cue, like clockwork. Just poking their head out right on twelve o'clock like a little cuckoo clock." Mom took another breath, as if preparing to sneeze. She held it for a long few seconds, before letting it out. 

Big Bee felt the smoothie in his stomach turn to electric ice that froze him from within as he watched the shift in his digital mother. He didn't have time to register amazement at the subtle programming. All he felt was fear, as he watched the emotional car crash happening in slow motion. 

"Sometimes they need a little encouragement. A little push out the door." She made a feeble little shoving motions for emphasis. "And sometimes I need to get your father to blast them out of the awnings with the hose because their droppings are making the front porch a mess, and we're having the neighbors over for dinner tomorrow." 

Here it comes, Big Bee thought. He was petrified, as always, as the oncoming train of female emotion hurtled towards the conversation. He was stuck, helpless, his mouth a tiny little 'o' of shock, lips parted around the straw he had been sucking on. 

"And sometimes...sometimes they leave before you're re-re-ready!" Mom said, bursting into terrible, horrifying, heart-wrenching sobs. She grabbed the front of her apron, working it in distress and, weeping thick tears at the news of her two sons leaving. 

As the situation calmed down, Big Bee joined Yggy in comforting their mother. "Don't worry Mum, we'll help pay for Dad's medical bills," he agreed. He wrapped an arm around the woman and shot his brother a glance that clearly said 'What the Fuck?'

"Running Shoes?" he asked, looking back at the re-stacked pantry. He had seen a nice looking pair of Air Gyarados while he'd been sweeping up the spilled pasta. "Well, with a pair of those on we'll be back before you know it, right Yg?" He gave a quick, reassuring laugh and went to check out the shoes.

They were right where he'd left them, pressed between a pairs of lime green Croconaw Martins and a box of fluffy Sliggoo Slippers. He pulled them free, carefully, and opened the box on the kitchen table. Crepe paper crackled and whispered as he uncovered his prize. The sound filled his ears, like the constant rush of a waterfall, or the brush of scales from a great, winding serpent. 

"They're...awesome," he said, taking out the pristine sneakers. They were cream and crimson, and studded with imitation scales. The rim of the shoes were patterned to look like the gaping jaws of a Gyarados about to consume him, feet-first, and the tongues were styled after the tongue of the beast, flopping forward and bobbing grotesquely with each step. I need to get me a pair of these to wear around the office. 

Big Bee pulled them on with fervor. "Yg, what did you get?"


Yggy Br00ks