[ti]private[/ti]regret

She hadn't asked for any explanations or details, and undeniably, that's on her. Most people in UNOVR — players and NPCs alike — wouldn't be able to summon Tuesday wherever they please without at least a hint to spark her interest, but Silvermoon is among the rare few that she actually really likes.

The arena? A duel against a friend? Why not, right? She has time for it today anyway.

There's an ominous feeling to Silvermoon's battlefield of choice, but when arriving, the Alchemist knight steps forward as she always does, regardless of where she is, for what reason, and with whom: confident, unshakable, and ready for battle.

To someone named war, every aspect of life is as if a battle fought, and today she has even brought one of her favourite weapons: a smile that shines bright and joyous.

"Hey, Sil, Kintsugi." She greets them both, failing to reflect the tension she recognises in both her friend and their Type: Null. "You doing okay? Hmm... Since we're doing a one-vs-one, do you have any requests on who to fight?"

She has her suspicions on what the answer will be, but still, she waits for Silvermoon's response, still smiling.

Silvermoon is not okay, but Tuesday decides not to push them. She simply stares, calm, and with a nod and a gesture for her UI, a Pokéball is summoned to her hand. "Alright. Legion is currently slotted as Support, though, so they may not be best to fight against."

She knows what the outcome of the battle will be before it even begins, in fact. Still, she allows it to happen, partially because it's clear to her that Silvermoon needs this victory, and partially because she knows that Legion could benefit from the taste of defeat.

The problem is that Tuesday deeply dislikes defeat.

The problem is that when the juvenile legend makes its appearance, acting with a might that its yet to posses, and Silvermoon asks a question from behind a primeval bellow and a metal sound that ring as if calls of war, Tuesday is disgusted.

So, this is how it is, then. Even Silvermoon thinks her a monster for putting the pain and suffering of real people above the life of a virtual bird. How annoying. How stupid. What a shame, she had really liked this kid until this moment.

Of course, none of this annoyance and disgust reveals itself in her expression, her gaze remaining fixed on Silvermoon while the forceful legend calls upon its ancient power, attempting to crush the Type: Null beneath summoned boulders.

"It's what needed to be done, Sil."

She doesn't expect them to understand. Most people wouldn't, unless they have experienced loss, pain, and grief in the way that she has. She knows she's right. The only thing she regrets is not having been strong enough to bring Zapdos down herself.

"Can I ask you something too?" She continues to look at them, golden gaze piercing and unwavering. "What do you fight for?"

"I fight because I have to. I- I had to fight for everything I have. I'm not like you, Tuesday."

Just like that, it snaps.

"...You think that I haven't fought for everything I have?" She repeats their words, as if to confirm that she didn’t mishear them, that Silvermoon hadn’t just done what is done by everyone else in the world: pass judgement without understanding a thing at all. The usual nonchalance, that confident smile that is as if Tuesday's signature; all of those things are gone. There is no fondness in her tone, no love. She had truly cared for Silvermoon, they had been one of the people for whom she fought during Thunderfall, and now... maybe they were never worth fighting for. "No, I'm not like you, Sil, because you know nothing about me and I know nothing about you. You have no idea what things have been like for me and I have no idea what things have been like for you, but if you think that I haven't fought in my life just because I don't make the decisions you think are right, then it sounds to me that you don’t care enough to actually try to understand my point of view."

Why should she have to explain herself? Silvermoon acts like they want to understand the reasons behind her actions, but they have already passed their judgement. Mars has seen it countless of times before: they’re just doing this to feel better about themselves. It’s not about Tuesday, it’s about Silvermoon seeking validation; seeking to prove that they’re right and she’s wrong. But, there is no right answer, don’t they see that? Life is not black and white. Every decision has weight and consequence. Every decision has a downside.

Tuesday had fought. Tuesday had fought because all Mars ever does it fight. That little boy who had kicked and screamed when taken to a distant land on the day his father died. That little boy who had lost all freedom, who had been hurt, neglected, and suffered deep physical and emotional scars. That little boy who had grown up full of resentment and who had done unspeakable things to take his freedom back. That little boy who is now a man who will never again allow anyone or anything to take from him; who will always fight for what matters to him.

<'ꞨȺȻꞦĪӺĪȻɆ'>

The bellow of a leviathan rumbles through the haunted arena as their saltwater blood flows red, echoing the sentiment they had spoken back then. Tuesdays understand. Of course she does. They’re doing this for Silvermoon. Even if Tuesday herself would rather step away, Legion wishes to take every blow and see this through to the end for them.

She won’t deny the wishes of a companion that means so much to her.

She shouldn't deny Silvermoon's wishes either.

“Have you ever been to Mistra, Sil?” Another question, this time not looking at them. She watches the battle instead; watches the way Legion’s eyes are marked by blood, yet the Kyogre always continues to fight, AQUA TAIL violently slamming Kintsugi’s side. She’s proud of them. She’s so fucking proud. She’s so proud to have a Pokémon that will always fight…

Just like Ancile, who Mistra had taken from her and who she had fought to bring back.

Just like Chariot, who had also been lost because of that horrible place that should not exist in this game.

Mistra had hurt those who matter to her. Even the prideful Tuesday is willing to admit it: she had suffered at the mercy of that place, but no suffering had been greater than seeing how much pain it brought to those who matter to her. Adarsa… She had tried so hard to protect him and failed. She never wants him to go through that again. Fuck, she doesn’t want Silvermoon to go through that again. None of her friends in this place. Not Silvermoon, not starlitlover, not orioncayge, Rose Garden, Verai, Kazuki, ibis, or Wolf. None of them.

“I fought to make sure that that place can never again inflict its fucked up horrors on those who matter to me.” Not just the people, but also the Pokémon, she understands that as she watches Legion keep fighting. She fought for Ancile. She fought for Chariot. She fought for all of her companions — people and Pokémon alike. “…None of us should have to suffer like that in a game that’s supposed to be our escape from life’s pain, but Mistra is still there when I could have stopped it from causing irreparable harm to my friends. I wasn't strong enough, and for that I blame myself, so you best fucking believe that I will become stronger.”

She looks at Silvermoon then, and there she stands: proud, confident, ready to face life’s endless fight, and filled with a sorrow too damn deep to be born of just her experience in UNOVR.

“I will always fight to protect those who matter to me, because there’s a precious few of them left. So, no, I have no regrets: to me, this was the only way.”