Post by Bergamot Gristleborg on Nov 9, 2023 19:42:14 GMT 9
The mysterious Tall Grass of UNOVR. It could appear anywhere. Sometimes it was Mom's backyard, on days when someone deadbeat father forgot to mow the lawn. Sometimes it was cracks in the sidewalk where the weeds poked through. Sometimes it was a row of flowerpots along Cerulean Avenue.
Today, it was a vacant lot sandwiched between newly-built Settlement houses. A faded "for sale" sign was tacked into the soil, looking more like a Wanted poster than marketable real estate.
Suddenly, a high-pitched scream echoed from it.
It was a woman's voice, the telltale signal of damsel in distress. The princess in the castle. The dame in the film noir. The Johnny in the Shining. Classic. Gorgeous. Memorable.
"How was that?" Bergamot asked Guillotine Flatflipper. The Piplup looked pained.
<Not bad.>
"Hmm. I'll try again! EEEEYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAA!"
<Very Xena. Why are we doing this?>
"To attract n00bs to our location, of course! How else will I find people to villainize?"
<You're villainizing me. Right now. Actually, no, you aren't. That word doesn't mean what you think it means.>
"It's brilliant, Guillotine," Bergamot went on, ignoring the mini penguin. "I simply stand here screaming until someone comes to help me. Then, when they step into the Tall Grass, a Pokémon appears."
<...Yes...>
"And then I steal the Pokémon. Ohohohoho!" She laughed smugly behind her hand. Honestly, ever since she'd figured out her Pokémon were just as fun to bother as real people, she'd been in constant performance mode. Never was a moment wasted on UNOVR!
<Someone's coming.>
"Quick, action! Oh heavens to betsy, lord almighty, someone help me! My kitty-corners are all catawampus!"
The Tall Grass was not actually that tall, so Morgana was actually kneeling in the middle of the lot like a child portraying a bush in a school play as she gave her performance. The grass gave just enough coverage to hide Guillotine (who looked very tired) and Morgana herself up to the waist, making her look (she was sure) like a wonderful grass-mermaid-creature.
"HEEEEEELP!"
<Did someone ask for 'help?'>
C0D13 popped into existence near Morgana's elbow. <I am here to assist. Did you wish to "catch a Pokémon?">
This was not what she planned. The digital assistant was going to spoil everything. Bergamot did her best to ignore it and continue on with the plan. "PLEASE HEEEEELP! My girl scout cookies are all do-si-doed to bits!"
<This is strangely Southern.>
"Quiet, Guillotine. I'm acting."
Today, it was a vacant lot sandwiched between newly-built Settlement houses. A faded "for sale" sign was tacked into the soil, looking more like a Wanted poster than marketable real estate.
Suddenly, a high-pitched scream echoed from it.
It was a woman's voice, the telltale signal of damsel in distress. The princess in the castle. The dame in the film noir. The Johnny in the Shining. Classic. Gorgeous. Memorable.
"How was that?" Bergamot asked Guillotine Flatflipper. The Piplup looked pained.
<Not bad.>
"Hmm. I'll try again! EEEEYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAA!"
<Very Xena. Why are we doing this?>
"To attract n00bs to our location, of course! How else will I find people to villainize?"
<You're villainizing me. Right now. Actually, no, you aren't. That word doesn't mean what you think it means.>
"It's brilliant, Guillotine," Bergamot went on, ignoring the mini penguin. "I simply stand here screaming until someone comes to help me. Then, when they step into the Tall Grass, a Pokémon appears."
<...Yes...>
"And then I steal the Pokémon. Ohohohoho!" She laughed smugly behind her hand. Honestly, ever since she'd figured out her Pokémon were just as fun to bother as real people, she'd been in constant performance mode. Never was a moment wasted on UNOVR!
<Someone's coming.>
"Quick, action! Oh heavens to betsy, lord almighty, someone help me! My kitty-corners are all catawampus!"
The Tall Grass was not actually that tall, so Morgana was actually kneeling in the middle of the lot like a child portraying a bush in a school play as she gave her performance. The grass gave just enough coverage to hide Guillotine (who looked very tired) and Morgana herself up to the waist, making her look (she was sure) like a wonderful grass-mermaid-creature.
"HEEEEEELP!"
<Did someone ask for 'help?'>
C0D13 popped into existence near Morgana's elbow. <I am here to assist. Did you wish to "catch a Pokémon?">
This was not what she planned. The digital assistant was going to spoil everything. Bergamot did her best to ignore it and continue on with the plan. "PLEASE HEEEEELP! My girl scout cookies are all do-si-doed to bits!"
<This is strangely Southern.>
"Quiet, Guillotine. I'm acting."