One rambling retelling of the entire story quest later, Kazuki finally stopped, standing impatiently in front of REN, who had taken to reclining on a bale of hay as if it were a chaise lounge, tossing the MECHA SEAL like a coin.

“I see, I see… Okay so, what’s the problem here?”

“What do you mean, what’s the problem? I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do.”

The screen on REN’s head flashed LOL. “You’re supposed to do whatever you want!” The screen flashed DUH as they shrugged. “And you clearly don’t want to join this faction and lose all your Pokémon.”

“So I’m supposed to just keep them like this? Like fucking hostages?”

Sometimes, REN really wanted to beat this guy’s ass, but only like, once per day. They didn’t have anger issues they refused therapy for, unlike some people. “Hoe, I don’t know what you want me to say.” They raised their hand and began counting on their golden fingers. “One, I don’t know your Pokémon like you do. Two, what I do know is that you’ve got a shit attitude that would’ve bled into shit training methods. And three, it’s. A fucking. Videogame!” Golden jazz hands.

They hopped off their hay throne and clapped him on the shoulder (having to reach because of course the motherfucker was still tall; they really needed to unlock some class flavors ASAP). “I get that losing a PC’s worth of ‘mon would suck, but you’ll be fine! I’ve seen tons of folks purposefully lose all their Pokémon and do Player-only runs. It's called the Ironmon Challenge. Those maniacs can rebuild their roster in less than a day.”

Despite this advice from a VR veteran, Kazuki scowled. He pulled his shoulder from them. “I’m not doing that. That’s not what I’m playing for.”

REN sighed, and the sound was like a car’s choking exhaust pipe. “Then what?”

Ugh, in all honesty, REN would’ve preferred if Kazuki just went cringe. More cringe. UNOVR was great because it made their job easier. If their hunch was correct, this was going to be even more of a pain in the ass than ever.

“Just rip out the band-aid as soon as possible. Find someplace quiet, let them all out and let them decide if they want to stay.” They shrugged. “If you’re so worried, you can give yourself some time training them, evolve them, get your bonds up—but don’t dawdle too long. If a month has passed and you’re still sitting on your fucking hands, then accept life as a controlling asshat and move on. You’re never going to do it at that point.”

Kazuki grimaced. “That’s seriously all you can tell me?”

REN’s screen flashed an FU, and they added the finger just for good measure. “I’m not a miracle worker, Kaz! No amount of hype and pep talk I can give will fix—” they gestured at him up and down, with the middle finger “—that. So you’ll take what I can give you.”

They tapped through their inventory, the trade request finally pulling through.

“The SUNSTEEL STRIKE?”

“Never say I don’t do anything for you,” REN said, their screen flashing a winking emoji. “And if you ever do change your mind—you better tell me how the Ironmon run goes.”

TRADING REN'S SUNSTEEL STRIKE FOR Kazuki'S MECHA SEAL