[ti]private[/ti]The Ghosts of Autumn

"Damn dawg,"  Orion quipped stepping into the clearing, a clear and confident swagger in his step.  "You really hit me with the first name last name huh."  A goofy grin was painted across his face as both of his hands were stuffed casually into his pocket.  "Next you're gonna hit me with my grandma's first dog's maiden name and the prime factorization of my social security number."  A few more steps and he was standing astride bro and beast, barely breaking a sweat as he glanced upon the altar, eyes flitting up and down as he drank in the sheer spooky vibes it gave off.

"Dude, Im gonna need to buy some pizza for your art team cause they did not need to go this hard."  Hands left pocket and found themselves set behind his neck as the fighter leaned back, and then twisted side to side as he limbered up.  "But also, what're the odds this is a wholesome Pokémon adventure, or the existential dread inducing nightmare fuel that keeps me awake at nights sometimes."  A raunchy chuckle escaped his lips as he righted himself and with a flick of the wrist, Hades his Hisuain Typhlosion emerged in a flash of red.

"Hey bud, you feel like ghost bustin today?"

"Yeah man, sure."  Hades droned sleepily, rubbing one eye as he turned to Jaws and Bee.  "Sup dawgs, dibs on being Venkmen."  

"You never fucking know with this game man,"  Hands on his hips, Orion peered into the altar with Bee.  "It could be take a penny leave a penny, or it could be like, touch my shrooms and I make you trip on the Tutankhamen bad karma kush."  Gods were mean fuckers like that, or they could be.  It depended on whether or not you were worshiping the like...sanitized mormon god, of you were worshipping the greek gods, or god from the old testament.  It could be fey too, but frankly speaking whatever it was it was best to err on the side of "Fuck this I'm out."

If you were a wuss.

"I'm thinkin we drop some offerins n see what happens."  Hades managed after a long yawn, eyes half lidded as he scanned the surroundings.  "Maybe these guys got the munchiez.  Maybe we're hunger busters and not ghost busters."

"Maybe we are the munchies."  Orion quipped back with a scowl.  Fishing through his inventory he would pull out a few choice snacks he'd saved for a rainy day.  Unsure what a spooky ghost would possibly want, he went with a variety sampler.  A couple of krabby legs from Joes Crabshack, a pack of moreos, Cool Ranch Dodouritos, and to wash it all down a can of Red Tauros.  

Yet as he did so, Orion couldn't help but think that this was a bad idea.  

"I figured if either of those things had existed you would have mentioned them when you said to come check out the spooky altar in the woods."  Orion turned to shoot Bee a quizzical look, suddenly realizing that he would have likely shot the pm first and then leapt without even looking as well.  So as the age old saying goes, people who live in glass houses shouldn't call the pot black. 

That's like...gentrification or something.  

"Man those dudes must have been fucking hungry..."  Hades droned, peering into the bowl with an equal sense of wonder and wariness.  That had been quite the show, and whatever had consumed all of that must have needed a fistful of tums right about now.  Still, so far so good?

"Let's go ahead and give a goose a gander..."  Orion mused as he fiddled with his UI and glanced through the recent notifications.  A quest prompt popped up, and his brow furrowed as he read the UI aloud.

"Altar of Harvest: Reap what you sow."  A soft sigh escaped his lips, as the winds of hope that this would be a whimsical little journey through the woods left his sails.  "Here we fuckin go..."

"Sounds like a riddle"  Orion mused, hand darting to his chin as he pondered the words presented to him.  "It's probably not a snake, but something snakey in nature.  A large root perhaps?  Or a dried riverbed."  The fighter posited as he glanced around looking for any potential tracks.

"Snakes are pretty snakey."  Hades interjected, head bobbling sagely.  "It could be a big ass snake I concur, I'm on team bigsnake."  

Orion wasn't going to engage with that.

"The rest of that shit is pretty esoteric and deep too...I think."  Orion would place his hands upon his head and take a few wheeling steps as he attempted to survey their surroundings, eyes scanning for any trace of tracks or other tricks that would add trauma to their trip.  His pulse quickened ever so slightly as he pondered the vaguely ominous phrasing that had been presented.  

What have you planted, that you can so confidently harvest?

That one hung pretty heavy on his heart, recent thoughts of not so recent losses would beg that there was a whole lot of fuck and all to harvest.  What had he managed to do with this life that he'd been gifted?  That had been spared so many times over?  A scowl crossed his face as he set his gaze upon a trio of tracks making their way into the woods.  "Well, I'm not sure it's our snake, but I got a trio of tangos heading towards a trail..." A chill down his spine, and somewhere off in the distance he could hear the screech of wheels burning out.  AA head of him, two trees loomed overhead, branches reaching out like grasping limbs as the formed a crooked arch over their proceeding path.

"What's a trail if not snakey earth?"  Hades mused with a yawn.  "Like a real big...snakey earth."

The pull of the wind, fading footsteps, and spooky tree branches all seemed to spell out that this was if nothing else, content to be explore.  The game reacting dynamically to their presence and putting on a show.  It beggared the question on how often this sort of event happened, how long had this shrine say pre rendered waiting to be found and have its mystery delved into like some sort of dungeon?  The fact that he would know how many eyes had red this shrine blue his mind.  How many times had this mystery lured unsuspecting explorers into the darkness of the woods? 

The amount of rescue teams needed must have been sky high.

"This is clearly a chupacabra."  Orion declared after several moments of squatting low and examining the tracks.  

"Dude that's my favorite taco bell item."  Hades purred, eyes closing as the spectral...weasel creature began to drool, hazy clouds of lavender smoke trailing from the corners of his mouth.  

"That's a chalupa."  Orion corrected.

"The fuck is a chupacabra then?"  Hades asked, taking point as the four of them began down the path.  In his mouth he held the light flicker of spectral flames, like how one might hold a particularly hot bite of hot pocket while trying to hashafashashfa blow to cool it down, only this time every gentle outward breath heralded more heat not less, and a light cascade of lavender sparks that danced through the air.

"It's like...a goat sucker."  Orion explained quietly.  "They're weird looking reptile motherfuckers."

"That doesn't sound like a snake to me."  Hades countered.  

"Oh yeah, and what sounds like a snake to you?"  Orion retorted.  

"I dunno, when I think of what a snake sounds like, all I can think of is the phrase....hrrrrng, colonel."  Orion rolled his eyes and turned back to Bee, shaking his head.

"You have any weird snake creature mythology tucked up in that noggin there bro?  Or do I need to dive into my mind palace and see if I can remember any little nuggets of wisdom from grandpappy Cayge that won't get me on a no fly list."

That was not a chupacabra.

Bee had a point though, snakes were one of those symbols that seemed to be almost...rooted in the very core of myth. The serpent that tempted Eve with the fruit of forbidden knowledge, Ouroboros and eating its own tail, Jormugandr the world snake who would one day throw hands with Thor at the end of the world.  Given how universal the creature seemed to be across all seven continents it made some modicum of sense.  Very few other creatures walked so closely to mankind, yet also instilled such a visceral fear into the collective unconscious of man. 

Truly the snake had earnt it's spot in the human zeitgeist.  

"Pretty sick story,"  Orion quipped, keeping a steady pace as they meandered down the trail.  The trees seemed to be growing denser, and the branches that framed their path overhead grew denser and denser still as the forest itself seemed to be swallowing them much akin to that of the snake in his tale.  "Didn't realize that ancient peoples were like, super into snake vore but it makes sense given all those big titty fertility idols we keep finding.  I bet proto homosapiens were fuckin freaky dude."  The atmosphere was beginning to make Orion feel a bit uneasy, the growing darkness mirroring the abyssal blackness of the deep bay waters, though this time there were no doors to light the floor.  Orion didn't too much care about it being dark, he'd tackled too much shit to be nervous about that sort of thing.  No, he was nervous because he KNEW something was out there, watching them, unseen and un-sensed as it stalked them.

And he had a sneaking suspicion it was hungry for homies.

"Yo Hades, can you drop us some light?"  The fighter inquired.  The ghastly weasel creature simply nodded, opening his maw and letting a few puffs of sickly purple smoke escape his lips as spectral sparks leapt from his jaw as his signature move "Infernal Parade" danced along the side of the path with them.  Orion didn't bother with the spectacle, he was more concerned with any upcoming strife, though he was unsure if his knuckles would cut it.  Somewhere off in the distance a loud crack rang out, and the sound of rusting branches shattered whatever silence as a large crash rang out.  Then another snap and crash, and another as the sound of splintering wood filled the forest air like crackling fireworks as it slowly began to grow closer to the group.  Orion's jaw clenched tightly, mirroring the tension now held in his fists. 

"Stay close bud, I think we've got company..."

"Fffffuck."  

A chill ran down Orion's spine as the august specter pushed through them unseen, the small of pumpkin spice and ugg boots blasting past them like a Kia Soul that was a little too eager to drag race.  It was a disturbing dichotomy, the pleasant fragrance contrasting sharply with the pure dread the force elicited.  He forced himself to breath slowly, in and out, his heart racing with fear despite nothing having even really happened.  As far as he knew that was it, the worst of it was over, but he doubted that.

Seldom were things ever that easy.

As they entered the clearing, Orion's eyes shot around the edge.  Him and spooky clearings had a bit of a beef, and he was just about ready for things to start going the fuck down.  But instead of violence, there was just a somber silence.  The ground was littered with a thick bed of red and orange leaves, though it was clear that the bottom of the pile had begun to rot, filling the air with a mottled mix of leafy decay.  Each step forward was heralded with the crinkling crunch of leaves underfoot, his feet sinking out of sight almost treacherously.  Were anything lurking below he'd have no way of knowing.

It was the center of the clearing that caught his attention the most though.  

Seemingly rising out of a sea of leaves was a large stone platform made of a mottled grey granite that shone in the autumnal sun.  Perched atop it was a stark white marble cornucopia with a myriad of fruits, grains, and even some baked goods stuffed into it.  Wrapped around it was a semi translucent Arbok that writhed in a circular pattern about the horn.  It's hood bore markings that depicted a scythe on one side, and a bundle of wheat on the other.  As it spotted the group, it reared its body up and let out a spectral hiss that set Orion's teeth on edge.

"Feasssssst and Famine.  Two sssssssssssidessssssssss of the sssssame coin.  For one thing to live, another musssssssst die.  Doesssss the wolf morn the rabbit?  The caterpillar the leaf?  Choossssssssssse, will you be the one who eatssss, or will you be the feasssst?"