- Be greedy?
- Like gold???
- Do experiments?
- Get poison from at least 5 different pkmn

Mars has no one to blame but himself to blame. He should’ve known better than to go on r/UNOVR to find information on how the hell to unlock the Alchemist class. All the answers he could find about it were pretty damn vague, but in the end, after some “extensive” research (read: the fifteen minutes he could spare while en route to a meeting), he had managed to compile this neat and logical little list. Well, seemingly logical, considering that–...

"Okay, but, obviously anyone who likes gold is greedy, right?" Tuesday muses, her singsong soprano rising in the air at one of the quieter spots of the starting outpost. She cross-legged sits in the shade provided by a tree, looking at the list in her open UI while her Cryogonal hovers silently by her side. ”Like… I love gold and I’m greedy as hell. I have cats named Dorado and Midas, for fuck’s sake. I drink gold label tea, half the dishes I order in restaurants have those tasteless like gold flakes on them, and Haribo Goldbears? Amazing. House of Gold? Heartbreaking song. Yeah, Gold is a pretty mid movie, everyone fucking knows that, but Goldfinger is a damn classic. I even care about the Golden Globes, and no one ever cares about Golden Globes anymore.”

Yes, it does occur to her that maybe this is about chemistry and the composition of gold, but this is a VR game, and everyone knows there’s no real science in games. The point is: according to Tuesday, no one likes gold more than her.

As for if she had been greedy while playing UNOVR, well… fuck yes? She had taken these nice boots of hers from that one house (let’s ignore the fact that that had been a quest), she had grabbed the red bandanas from every guy she had found “dead” when exploring the Misty Timberlands (she has the intention of making herself a nice cape with them, okay?), and she had even stolen the tiara she wears from a sleeping NPC.

That’s two off the list!

"Hey, Ancile, have I done any experiments lately?"

<'You did throw two Seedot into the Precipice Shrine to see what would happen, my liege.'>

"Ooooh right… I had almost forgotten about those. Did anything interesting happen?"

<'Nothing of note, my liege.'>

"Well, that’s lame as fuck. Can't believe ritual sacrifice gets you nothing these days. You'd think you'd trigger something cool if you go around tossing pokémon in sentient holes."

But, it does have to count for something, no?

Three done, one to go?

"Whirlipede’s VENOSHOCK, Litwick’s SMOG, Nidoran’s TOXIC SPIKES, and your ACID ARMOR, which, like… no offence, was super gross to collect. Fuck. I’m missing one." Exasperated, Tuesday sighs, looking down upon the vials she had just retrieved from her inventory. One contains purple goo, one contains a dark gas, one contains spikes, and one contains a translucent liquid that looks remarkably sweat-like.

<'The Wurmple, my liege.'>

"What Wurmple? Oh. Right. The Wurmple."

She had collected a barb from Allotta Bambooga’s Wurmple back during that silly event with the rhyming moon, a result of a healing POISON STING shot at her Petilil. She makes sure to also grab that from her nearly-overflowing inventory.

"Okay… That should be everything, so how come I’m not an Alchemist yet?! This is some bullshit."

To become an Alchemist...