Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Oct 9, 2023 13:43:32 GMT 9
TW: Self-harm, allusions to suicide, implied cannibalism, body horror
lacrimosa stood before the gate to mistra. how many times had he come here, now? hoe many offerings had he brought the Corruption? how many times had he been cast away empty handed?
he stood at the precipice, and did not know. he had come as often as the game would allow him, kept away only by lockouts and phantom weakness and pains. even now, his breath tame in quick, tight gasps. he pressed his good hand to his stomach as he took a slow, deliberate breath- and were he not watching with his eyes, he'd swear blood and necrosis continued to pour from the wound.
but his hand and shirt were clean, unstained. nothing visually was wrong with him- just the same pervasive, growing sensation of death that plagued him from his first step into mistra.
and, yet, still he stood before the gate, eyes rising up to the hazy border, another pokemon on his shoulder. this one, the bat from the settlement. it seemed alert now, ears twitching with interest, one pivoting before its whole body twisted, beeping softly at the approaching figure.
lacrimosa did not turn to them. he did not care. his eyes were on his goal, his destiny. his desiderium.
zubat || 150/150
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Oct 7, 2023 3:39:59 GMT 9
the burmy paused, and twisted to look back at him. the zubat lay even more still and wilted, now unable to fight back, in addition to unwilling. there was a threshold, a capacity to take in creatures before their health was wholly extinguished. an opportunity for peace. the burmy seemed to want to take it.
lacrimosa did not. he spoke no further, only leveling a gaze. the burmy shuddered under it, and struck a final time.
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Oct 7, 2023 2:29:50 GMT 9
lacrimosa pursed his lips. more failure- but could he truly blame these creatures? had they been programmed with knowledge, with intent? no. but perhaps they could be taught- perhaps they needed the time. these games were historically for children- so failure early on was to be expected.
that was not to say he could not be displeased. "again."
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Oct 7, 2023 2:10:55 GMT 9
precious little, but more than the espurr had managed. lacrimosa made note of it. his eyes narrowed, and a soft sigh escaped him. he regarded the espurr, and returned it to its pokeball. something to be dealt with later. "keep going." he ordered, not even giving the pokemon a second glance. the burmy would do as he requested- it knew the price of failure.
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Oct 7, 2023 1:46:49 GMT 9
the pain was something distant, third-party. something lacrimosa bore witness to akin to viewing a surgery. aware of the gore and life held in hands, judgemental of what he would do in their stead, but ultimately disconnected, unable to truly affect or be affected in turn.
saint moved with indeliberate slowness. he was not distant, not unaffected- grounded more certainly in the present than lacrimosa was. compassion. bile in the throat. a useless emotion for a doctor. even then, his eyes wept, unable to see what he was doing-
his actions drove keratin further, piercing vein and tearing sinew, only a low moan escaping his lips. the pain was an afterthought. saint apologized. wasting words and breath. but saint moved again- determination, despite failure- and pulled.
the horn came free.
what spilled forth was bile, black and searing, and a low, mocking huff. saint and the creature he had with him were gone, vanished. the corruption had gone still and silent, now, beside him.
there was no one else there.
save for the espurr, who remained where it had started this whole time, eyes wide and unblinking. locked on him. watching him die.
but the creature bumbled forward, paws outstretched. reaching for him. fear and concern in its eyes- it wanted to help
its first paw struck the acid, and it whined, and tried to push itself forward, even as the corruption churned, reaching up for the creature like a hungering maw, viscous ferrofluid coiling around the kitten.
it still reached for him, a soft cry keeling from its muzzle.
"useless," he said, and that too was a waste of breath.
espurr || 0/150
4ffnLpZD1-20 1-20
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Oct 5, 2023 12:41:54 GMT 9
lacrimosa did not feel fear, despite how he was trapped, a moth pinned for others to marvel and mewl at. his breathing was slow and even, not spiked in panic or death. he heard saint cry out, his pokemon squeaking in return. were they conversing? was the creature advising him, or the other way around?
there was a faint glimmer of light, and lacrimosa let his head loll to the side, watching as saint approached, despite the poison he was subjecting himself to. how strange- how noble. lacrimosa was a veritable stranger, and yet-
saint had claimed himself not a doctor, and yet-
hands reached the Corruption's great bulk, a shove, a scream. it was then that the pain surged, a writhing mass of madness and nausea, an aborted howl dying in his throat, eyes rolling back in his head as his body protested with what little it held.
the espurr had long stopped its crying. did it still live? did it even matter?
he wondered, in the grasp of agony, what his waking vessel looked like. was his pain mirrored? would he wake and need to scrub at his skin, salt and antiseptic until all trace of the Corruption had vanished?
a surge of panic- saint's voice had gone raw, a single claw still latched to him, a final tether- another shove, and the cord was cut. “Faun...” it was feathery, a dying breath, and lacrimosa swam through the pain to force his eyes open, taking in a rattling gasp.
his eyes went to saint- his namesake, still standing there, bloodied and mangled himself but still, still looking, searching. trying to find answers. begging for guidance. lacrimosa forced his aching throat to swallow, spit and bile and blood. "child, listen to me." he breathed. "remove what tethers me here."
espurr || 50/150
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Sept 19, 2023 20:57:26 GMT 9
lacrimosa sighed. "yes, more than once. i keep finding out snippets, but... it's never quite enought. i feel like i'm on the edge of a breakthrough, but..."
the espurr stood still as the audino looked them over, save for how their eyes wobbled, tears pricking at the bottoms. their little heart was steady- thump thump thump thump- and nothing really seemed to be immediately wrong- save for how they turned to look at lacrimosa when the trainers spoke.
lacrimosa wayched the thoughts flicker over Saint's fave- a nerve successfully struck, a string properly tuned. his empathy would guide him, right where he needed him to go. he gabe a gentle nod. "you can only stay in mistra for a few minutes. but... i would be grateful for a second set of eyes, regardless." he smiled at saint, even as the espur ran back to his side, stumbling only once with hurried pawsteps- tap tap ta- tap. lacrimosa lowered his hand for them to grab.
plan made, lacrimosa turned towards the gate, espurr following beside him. "be careful, saint- mistra warps to suit the minds of those who cross in, though i'm yet unsure how... it will not be pleasant, but so long as we stick together, we'll be alright." he moved forwards, the espurr suddenly twisting back to look at their companions, trying to dig their little paws into the earth- tump tap tap-
but there was no turning back, and the pair stepped into the lifeless gate.
---
it was sudden and dizzying, flashes of events that rose in a broiling nausea. stepping into the wide clearing, no trees or grass but dirt, dry and crisp- the Corruption, rising above him, seven eyes and seven mouths and seven curling horns-
the great, punishing sensation of failure.
a noise coalesced- a wailing cry. the espurr. lacrimosa dragged his eyes open to find himself laying on the ground. his good arm was twisted under his back, a heavy weight over his legs and side. he tilted his head to look- slowly, carefully- and saw the Corruption laying half atop him, leaking acid, body contorted and warped. a horn had snapped off, and found its place jutting from lacrimosa's abdomen, slick and hot.
he had returned, and this was how he was treated?
"saint," he called, initially unsure if the other was even still there. "saint. listen to me." gone was lacrimosa's earlier quiet demure act. an edge of authority- mangled by pain as it was- had found his voice. "you'll need to move the Corruption first. it- it's body is acid." he laughed at that. maybe a little delirium. "so you won't want to use your hands."
a thrumming voice echoed within saint, effortless in its eternity. “Child, you cannot save him..”
espurr || 100/150
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Sept 19, 2023 1:19:13 GMT 9
lacrimosa nodded politely as the man talked. still studying... and ashamed by it. ashamed of his failure, or a forced profession? curious... hopefully the former. at the translation, he blinked down, towards the other pokemon, hovering by his own. "hm? oh, i would be grateful for that- i'm not much of a vet in the real world, and even less of one here..." he urged the espurr forward, who reached out to take the audino's paw, their own holding on tight.
and then, like clockwork, the concern was turned on him- lacrimosa gave a soft, sad laugh. "i'm well aware of the dangers..." he sighed, pulling his arm away to regard it himself. "still... it's worth it, if i can get any closer to understanding the Corruption. it hardly troubles me anymore." he said, eyes sliding back towards the ominous gate.
"besides... something happened to a dear friend of mine. he was injured by the corruption, and... it got some sort of foothold over him. he's trapped, now, and something terrible lives in his place. i-" he paused, and took a breath. "if there's even a chance of saving him, i have to look into it." he looked, finally, back to Saint. "is that not why we're here? to heal?"
espurr || 150/150
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Sept 12, 2023 1:22:25 GMT 9
the definition of insanity. alas, he was getting different results- but none were the ones he wanted, what he needed. and so, again, he embarked on his pilgrimage to mistra, to offer his prayers to the flame again.
he was- unwell. he had not been to a shrine- save once, for only the briefest and cruelest of moments- since any of his returns to asper. the injuries the corruption, the parasites, made had lingered, a secret that was his to keep and hold.
his arm was held tight to his center, collar pulled up around his throat- but there was an airiness to him that was less an elven ephemeral grace, and more the way of something hollowed out on the inside, the fragility of bird bones giving up every last thing extra to take in a bit more breath.
to say- no, he was not approaching quickly- his espurr was. their little legs tamped on the ground, running at a breakneck (for espurr) pace- freezing as it stopped before the tent, eyes wide and unblinking, unyielding. there was something haunted to it, as if it had borne witness to things beyond comprehension- but that was simply the state of espurr.
la-cri-mo-sa followed after, in slow, unhurried steps. "espurr-" he called (it had had a name, once, maybe), pausing as he caught sight of the little camp. "oh- no, i don't think so." he answered, reaching to gently pet the espurr's head. "i don't know why she just took off like that..."
he glanced up, at Saint, looking him over. maybe he was someone who fancied himself a- what- "support." but the way he held himself, the quirk of his fingers, the cast of his eyes.
one, like him, sworn to apollo and asclepius, one duty bound to improve the lives of those around. a healer. medicinae doctor. "ah... forgive me. do you practice medicine?" he tilted his head, a soft, familiar smile coming to his lips. they understood each other, after all, didn't they? brothers in arms, of a sort.
espurr || 150/150
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Sept 11, 2023 4:43:38 GMT 9
she smiles, and there is nothing and everything behind it. it is familiar- it suits her face- gloves pulled on with lifetimes' worth of ease. but it is an act, a decision to be made. the same as the gentle, shy smile lacrimosa offers back. they are doing each other the courtesy of lying.
at the offer, he inclined his head, almost tentatively stepping inside. it is oppressive, overwhelming- a thousand scents and colors and lights. she, too, is more oppressive inside the occluding walls. something- a thread, a byte of data, an impression- repulses him. he yearns to grab it, to study, to understand-
but he presses, and nothing responds. there is no answer. there is never any answer.
disappointment and fury will get him nowhere. the emotions are discarded.
"oh- i've not spent much time in the settlement," he said. a gentle, harmless truth. "it's so quiet now... a better time to look around than normal."
an act of kind-hearted greed, he casts his gaze. drinks about, freshly made and dried and tinned. a waste of time and effort in a world where one could not starve, could find satiation only from goals achieved, knowledge acquired.
again, he casts the thoughts away.
his attention falls to a potted plant, left in the sun. direct attention and focus. nary a shadow to hide it, or its intentions. lacrimosa reached for it, and even before his fingers brushed leaf, the shrub yearned, prying free from the limits imposed upon it. stretching for things beyond itself.
a flower bloomed under his touch, milky-white petaled. lacrimosa masked his disgust. "how lovely..."
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Sept 11, 2023 3:54:12 GMT 9
The Corruption made itself known, bright of eye and sharp of fang. The laugh echoes, bouncing against nothing, reverberating in profane frequencies. But Lacrimosa held himself firm, as this figure, too, sought to unmake him. He would withstand- he had to- he had no choice.
Prove it. Your desideratum.
He had no choice.
"It has long stopped being about me." He said, against the laughter, against the claws at his throat. "I take it all, gladly. Lustfully. I bear your sin and ritual, may that Your Tabernacle be filled."
It was strange, in these moments before. A loss of sense of pain. A loss of sense of self. Dark lines dragged themself down his chest, splitting fabric and skin, and Lacrimosa could only meet the Corruption's gaze, bright and yearning.
"Let me bathe in your waters," He entreated, fingers tracing along the Corruption's path, the reaching to brush, tenderly and reverently, against the curve of Its jaw, an offering of blood upon the altar. "Let me stand before Your Pyre- let me offer prayer and sacrifice. I was given a Blessing- Let me bear Your Atonement."
He reached, then, for Its wrist- to hold It in place, as he pressed further into the touch.
Dona eis requiem.
espurr || 0/150
6lgA_EyP1-20
1-20
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Sept 6, 2023 1:35:55 GMT 9
lacrimosa was tired. in many senses- exhaustion wore across him, grinding him down to dust, etching away the parts deemed useless, unneeded. pain danced across him, not yet given the freedom to spring forth. black scars pooled around the base of his throat, hidden under his collar- questions were an inconvenience, a waste of time- but the arm was harder to hide, emaciated and delicate, like it was just cut free from a cast, the skin tender and ashen. like it would fall to dust at the slightest pressure.
it was taking too long- his Divine providence, witheld from him. by what? chance? fate? a cruel resentment?
lacrimosa walked, somewhat aimlessly. the streets were quiet, shops open but unfilled. abandoned, forgotten. a waste of space and data.
he paused outside one, a pretty thing, a mockery of coffee-shops of the big cities. something to look charming to customers, with little regard for what that meant in its entirety. this could thrive here, somehow, and yet-
lacrimosa paused in his thinking. the shopkeeper was not a generative creation- it was a person, flesh and blood somewhere, connected by wires and myopic dreams. and was looking towards him, eyes bright.
"excuse me," he said, a bit breathy, a little laugh. a play well rehearsed. "you have a lovely store. i didn't mean to stare..."
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Aug 30, 2023 3:14:12 GMT 9
the bat was still there. limp. unmoving. lacrimosa looked at it despondently. a pest. a fetid carcass. but necessary for offering. he reached for his bag- the burmy was sent out. with luck it, too, would not fail him. "prove yourself." he ordered, the burmy wavering a bit in midair uselessly, before swinging itself at the zubat.
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Aug 28, 2023 7:27:45 GMT 9
lacrimosa made his way to the shrine. he could feel the energy of it reaching for it, seeking to purge the Corruption from him. he would need to be fast. he had no intention of letting himself be "cleansed."
he had one goal, only. the espurr was dumped from the pokeball, and dragged to the edge of the shrine. it stretched down into eternity. the espurr was reluctant, trying to pull free. lacrimosa ignored it.
"the stakes were made clear." lacrimosa hissed. the espurr trembled, and tried to yank free again. it let out a pathetic little cry.
{tw: animal abuse / basilisk req}lacrimosa picked it up, and grabbed, twisting. the creature cried again, and then went limp.
the espurr was tossed, carelessly, into the shrine. exalt spoke of respect, of raising someone to heights. sacrifice- that was more suiting. something cut down to make way for something stronger.
lacrimosa regarded the eye in his hand, and quietly put it in his inventory, and quickly fled the influence of the shrine.
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Lacrimosa
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Player Character
Posts: 136
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Sarthor Caldwell
OOC Username: spibe
Arena Points: 50
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Post by Lacrimosa on Aug 28, 2023 7:12:54 GMT 9
it was difficult to think. pain was coursing through him, strongest where the Corruption had touched- his arm, his throat. the errant lights of the settlement pulsed, lacrimosa closing his eyes in an attempt to still the swirling of the world.
"kill it. now." he said. the espurr squeaked gently. it clearly didn't want to. it was weak. like the other pokemon. like the sprigatito. like the phantump. like the zubat. "this is your last chance."
the espurr turned away again, and put their paw gently down on the still zubat again, who also squeaked.
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