Buzzster Hooperham
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The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jun 10, 2024 11:05:08 GMT 9
"Gold's overrated," Zac said, clambering up the stairs using his pudgy hands and cap-less knees. "What you really want is that Unobtanium stuff from that movie about the Avatars!"
"If it were up to me, they'd give out medals of THAT stuff at the Olympics. Then those big blue guys might finally be motivated to join in! Can you imagine them in track and field?" Buzzster whistled, picturing a Na'vi runner overtaking Usain Bolt.
Musing completed, Buzzster's UI pinged, and unbeknownst to the blind man a prompt displayed front and center, alerting him to his achievement.
Alchemist subclass unlocked! Equip now? Y/N Zac heard the ping and stopped dead at the top of the stairs. "Did you hear that Morgana? Some sort of doorbell or something. Yes? Who is it? Come on in if you're not Mormon!"
With verbal confirmation, the game equipped Zac with the Alchemist class. The default blindness of Seer was replaced with the blinding, midday sun that blasted him in the face like the flashlight of a policeman interrogating a skateboarding teen. Buzzster clapped his baby hands over his eyes as tears streaming down his face. "Sweet David Blaine's ghost! They've got stun grenades!"
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jun 4, 2024 22:52:38 GMT 9
"Ya live and ya learn," Buzzster said sagely. "All I know is I'm not sharing my burgers with Petal anymore. She had me thinking I was allergic to virtual beetroot!"
Zac stuck his head out of a low hole in the wall. He opened one side of his baby mouth and clicked his tongue rapidly. "This bloody baby jaw's got no natural resonance at all! Useless for echolocation!" he said, hissing in frustration.
He pulled his head out of the hole and toddled towards the stairwell. "Come on Morgana, I felt an updraft out there. If we hurry to the roof we might still have a chance of catching them."
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Feb 8, 2024 18:06:48 GMT 9
Zac picked up the vials of medicine and shook them, and frowned at the sloshing sound of the ancient liquids. He uncorked the Ekans vial and strained his superhuman senses to extract precious information from the unknowable tube.
"Smells like...burnt cough syrup," he said. "And sounds like it has the viscosity of...motor oil. Diesel, NO WAIT unleaded. Final answer." He reached in a childlike finger and dipped it into the liquid. "Feels kinda slimy!" he said, before popping a finger-ful of the thick liquid into his mouth.
"I was wrong about it being motor oil," he said with chilling realization. "It's definitely snake oil."
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 25, 2024 11:45:18 GMT 9
"What type of lock does the safe have?" Buzzster asked, handing Morgana a crooked piece of metal from his inner pocket. "If it's a combination lock then check to see if there is a bit of give in the dial. If there is then pull it towards you firmly and turn it clockwise. Reverse the direction as soon as you feel some resistance, like a little catch in the dial. Do that once more and it should just spring open!"
"If they use an actual key lock, then use the metal. A safe lock will usually have five to ten different little pieces of metal that are hanging down from the top of the barrel and preventing it from turning. Turn the handle to put a bit of pressure on the hanging pieces. Then move that metal rod slowly into the barrel, poking the hanging bits back UP into their tubes. Repeat a few times and that little devil is as good as open."
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 23, 2024 12:56:02 GMT 9
#s://file~garden/ZaK0RRFYS2j2rOAa/profile%20pics/Otojya%20by%20Plumberp3c~png "You heard her Petal," Buzzster said, ducking his massive head and following Minigana into the tunnel. "We've only got until midnight until my shoe turns into a pumpkin." His body had shrunk, but his voice was disconcertingly the same on account of his vocal chords retaining their original length.
The group hustled through the tunnel, crawling their way through ancient grime and discarded trash. Like any secret tunnel it was more full of disappointment than majestic treasures.
"This reminds me of the time I, uh, accessed a Burger King after hours to get back the keys to my van. The assistant manager cheated and won them from me in a game of Two Horse Blind. Now normally I'm all for a bit of cheating, but I had to get to Montana to pick up a crate of, uh, lemon drops. And anyway Jeff was this real weedy piece of work, and he hadn't payed me back from helping him paint a lewd mural on his cousin's tattoo place." Buzzster's riveting story was cut short when he stepped on a bent rivet and jerked upwards, banging his head on the low ceiling.
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 23, 2024 11:48:04 GMT 9
Zac caught the sock, a reflex born of many years on stage catching thrown undergarments and loose change. "Thanks! And you know what I will take a sip." He raised the vial to his lips cautiously. "This smells like fizzy milk," he said wisely. Then, with barely a wince, he gulped down his half of the vial.
Instantly Zac started to shrink. Not his massive, oversized melon, but the rest of his body. In moments he and Morgana were just a pair of toddling babies with improbably (but historically accurate) head to body ratios.
"Hey, did you get my other shoe too?" he asked.
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 23, 2024 1:18:36 GMT 9
"I never get flu shots," Buzzster said proudly. "Don't need 'em! I've got a metabolism like one of those Greenland Sharks. I can hold my breath for almost forty minutes too!"
His ears twitched as Morgana unscrewed the bottle. "I'm thirsty, sure, but you're not gonna get me with another prank like that time you got me to drink one of my fountain pens. You first!"
At the comment about his head Zac just grinned, and perhaps too late he added some family insight. "Big head big heart, those are the two anatomical abnormalities that all true Ramsays share. Your head was that big the day you were born!"
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 22, 2024 23:50:20 GMT 9
The origami attackers were, appropriately, guarding papers. Buzzster's highly tuned blind-sight drew him straight to a stack of memos like a politician to a female intern. "Money! No, just paper. But maybe important paper," Buzzster smirked, and sniffed at the paper. "Oh yeah, this is the good stuff. Some sort of," sniff sniff "internal notice about," sniff sniff "a murder in the," sniff sniff "boiler room? Nah I'm drawing a blank here. What does it say?" he asked Bergamot Gristleborg, passing her the papers.
Zac has had the Seer class equipped for seven months.
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 18, 2024 14:41:40 GMT 9
CURRENT BYTES: 10,705 DATE OF CHARACTER APP: Jun 2 2022 CLAIMING TYPE MOD: Secondary EQUIP TO?: Chikorita
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 18, 2024 14:38:55 GMT 9
Petal cheered as the whirlpool drained all her troubles away. She whipped at the sides of the vortex like a potter slapping her clay to make it spin faster. "Get out and stay out, you...you..." she struggled to find the right word, and her skin tinted red with the stress "you compost!"
She panted, watching the Kartana drain away along with her rage. Petal's vines found Zac, and she lead him out into the open like a long-range seeing-eye dog. "Was that too rude?" she asked, now uncertain whether she'd crossed some sort of line. "Compost is actually really important for plant growth. It's full of nutrients!"
"Compost is trash that helps plants like you and me grow strong, ay?" he asked, giving her vine a squeeze. "Sounds perfect to me."
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 8, 2024 0:17:00 GMT 9
Zac and Petal climbed through a gaping hole in the wall of the fourth floor. They rested for a while, panting as they leaned against the cold concrete. "I hope Morgana has my shoe," Buzzster said. "It's gonna be bloody impossible to get back into town and buy a replacement with these dark visuals."
Something tiny slashed through the air, carving a deep gash into the concrete next to Zac's head.
"Watch out Zac, it's another of those paper things!" Petal yelled, and he scuttled away across the floor in search of cover.
Petal whipped the air with her vines, battering at the little beast like a grown man trying to catch a paper airplane mid-flight. It dodged easily, cutting its way through the air currents and slicing at her vines.
"Stay away from Zac and go bother someone else!" she yelled. "This mission with Morgana means a lot to him and you keep knocking them out so they can't spend time together!"
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 7, 2024 23:59:55 GMT 9
"There's a fine line between scrap and crap," Buzzster said wisely, as he hauled a massive washer-dryer combo onto the makeshift trolley. Thankfully the laser blast had melted together a bunch of old tricycles, and with some help from Bergamot Gristleborg's Guillotine Flatflipper they'd been able to bend the molten into an almost flat surface complete with a hundred tiny wheels. "Really it's just the 'S' that's the difference," he said, lashing down the machine with some bungee cords and sprouting vines cultivated by Petal. "But you wanna know what the S stands for?"
"What does it stand for?" Chikorita asked earnestly. She held onto the rickety trolley with her vines, preventing it from rolling straight down the road and into town.
Zac found some screws on the ground and used an old wrench to nail down some of the ropes in a stunning display of ingenuity that would make give an OSHA rep a stroke. He gave Petal a grin and a confidential wink. "It stands for RATS!!" Zac shouted, as he was interrupted by the pitter-patter of a thousand plague-bearing feet. The wave of singed rodents surged forth from the junkheap like a barbarian horde, gnawing and chomping and giving Zac unpleasant flashbacks.
It was clear that they only wanted revenge on him, and they surrounded him like bodybuilders at the deli meat section of an all-you-can-eat buffet. "Stay back ya damn purple rats!" he said, kicking at the Rattata with his size 14 loafers. Thinking quick, he backed towards the lashed dryer.
Zac reached into his pocket for a distraction and tossed a handful of biscuit crumbs, glitter, and loose change at the Rattata, simultaneously feeding, confusing, and financially supporting them with the semi-edible shrapnel.
Taking advantage of the distraction he lunged at the dryer and pulled open the massive door. "Quick!" he yelled, and La Trixxia and Petal jumped in with him. With Petal no longer holding the trolley it started to roll, and Zac slammed the door shut. "Go chew an electrical wire!" he shouted at the Rattata, flipping them off through the glass door of the dryer.
XUSmHwHD1-6x10 Luck Points +20 for Vine Whip + Leech Seed to help hold trolley together +10 for using Gardener ability to grow vines and sprouts through the trolley quicker +10 Teamwork for working with Guillotine to mold the trolley
Mechanical: 240/300 Scrap: 200/200 +60 from Washer/Dryer Scrap! Electrical: 180/400 +10 from Washer/Dryer circuitry Wagon: 100/100 1-6
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 7, 2024 20:52:06 GMT 9
Petal climbed on, hauling him upwards with vine whip after vine whip. It was like that weight training that strongmen do where they push a tire from a big truck end-over-end. Buzzster could feel the tensing of her body, and he marveled at the strength packed in the little green herb. "All the way to the top!" he wheezed, as the vines heaved him upwards.
They climbed past the smashed windows on the third floor. Buzzster's jacket and slacks scraped against the concrete and shards of glass, giving him a cool, street-magician look. There was a flash of color and a shout from just beneath him, and someone's hand just missed grabbing his ankle. "Nice try pig!" Buzzster shouted, before realizing that it was his darling niece who had narrowly missed the Ramsay express elevator to the fifth floor.
He kicked off a heavy loafer just in time, and the wad of colorful scarves inside cascaded downwards like a rope to clown heaven. "Grab on quick!" he shouted down at Morgana. Buzzster loved his trick shoes.
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 4, 2024 23:27:32 GMT 9
"We've gotta go quick!" Buzzster agreed, now smelling the poisonous smoke. "With all this smoke it seems like this quest just got 'hard mode'."
He stumbled back the way he came, using his Vavroom like a guide dog to help him stay just ahead of danger. He dodged a pile of glass shards, a decayed section of floor, and even a fallen, shin-high filing cabinet.
And then they reached a gap in the wall. He felt the rush of wind and realized he would be climbing blind. He fumbled for another Pokemon and sent out Chikorita, who sat worriedly on his shoulder. "Take us up to the next floor!" Zac yelled, and vines exploded from the buds on her neck. Half of them wrapped around Zac's upper torso like a bright green harness and the rest attached to the exposed rebar frame of the floor above them.
Petal pulled at her vines and they tightened around Zac's chest, crushing the breath out of him and hauling him skyward like some sort of hung Tarzan.
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 4, 2024 23:00:39 GMT 9
"Oh there you are!" Buzzster said, crashing back towards her. By sheer chance Morgana had spawned in right next to a spreading cloud of noxious fumes, and the black vapor engulfed her without Zac even realizing. "I can spare another Pokemon, sure!" He sent out another Pokemon from his dwindling supply, and this time it was Varoom! The little engine zoomed around the office space at a tremendous speed, leaving oil stains on the carpet that Zac would have refused to see even if he had been fully envisioned.
"I've scaled a Walmart or two after dark," he answered. "Why do you ask? Are we about to do some Gerrymandering?" Buzzster wasn't confused about the definition of the word. His only experience with the process of strategically redrawing election borders was being 'hired' by a politics major to move some campus zoning flags so that homeless people living on the tennis courts could vote in the student body election.
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