Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 4, 2024 22:18:11 GMT 9
Zac appeared in the office space an instant before Morgana blinked away, struck down in her villainous prime by Kartana's cruel yet fair blades. They were like two ships in the night, one returning from a long and fruitful voyage to the land of 'Upgradia' and the other some sort of AU Titanic where it sunk because the ship's electric cat was assassinated by a pair of sentient scissors.
"Morgana?" Zac called, his voice echoing off the concrete and abandoned desks.
"My name is Quacxee!" Quacxee said helpfully.
"Not now Quacky, I'm expecting a swift reply from my darling niece," Buzzster said, unaware that his niece wasn't just silent but not in the building. Buzzster bumbled around the office floor, grabbing onto desks and almost tripping over chairs. "They should really add visuals back into this game," Buzzster mused. "It's much harder to play since the update." He grinned, proud of his expert use of gamer lingo. "But hey, if you don't hit the gym every day then you wont be able to steal from the lockers of the meatheads who spend too long at the weight benches," Zac said, using the gym as a metaphor for his blindness, petty theft as a metaphor for the heightening of his remaining senses, and weight bench meatheads as a metaphor for the world at large, or perhaps the government.
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 4, 2024 20:19:58 GMT 9
Zac staggered away from the shrine, narrowly avoiding a deep puddle of water. He was going to find and help his niece. She was back out there! Probably all alone and afraid and helpless. Like that time when she was five and got her kite stuck in a tree!
"She needs me!" Zac said, forging on blindly into the urban wilderness.
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 4, 2024 20:17:38 GMT 9
"It looks like you're trying to fight an high level enemy! Would you like some help with that?" asked Quaxcee, appearing beside Zac.
"Rebel Wilson?" Buzzster asked, staggering and steadying himself against the Thunderfall Shrine. Static roared through his body and he withdrew his hand with a yelp.
"My name is Quaxcee, and my job is to assist beginner players in learning the ropes! If you'd like I would be happy to help you upgrade your HP and return to your previous location!"
"I'll have you know this beginner has been playing for months!" Buzzster said, not realizing the epic self-burn he was inflicting.
"Recent player survey data indicates that you are in the bottom 0.5% of all players in the NA server."
"That's bullshit. Now show me how to do the thing so I can get back to saving my niece."
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 4, 2024 19:48:57 GMT 9
Zac felt the sunlight on his skin. He smelled the ozone in the air, and took a deeper sniff. He looked around, but saw only darkness.
This place felt sacred. Beautiful and, despite the many years of neglect and reclamation, it felt unsullied. There was a certain reverence that hung in the air like glittering dust motes. His whole body tingled. It was like going to the dentist and getting the gas.
"Where the hell am I?" Buzzster asked.
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 4, 2024 19:44:40 GMT 9
"I've got more!" Buzzster said, grabbing for a second ball. Again, the result was not the steely Varoom that he was imagining, but instead a bright blue and highly squeezable Surskit. The bug skated off across the rooftop in search of a puddle.
"Now this Ultra Beacon you were talking about, how does it-" There was a swift and wicked SNICK as a blade as sharp as Zac's tongue sliced through the rooftop from below, instantly knocking out Shuckle. Buzzster saw nothing, he only heard the slow grind of shifting concrete slabs. "What happened?" he asked, a moment before his UI flashed white and a notification was spoken into his ears.
You have whited out! You will respawn at the nearest shrine. There was a rush of air and concrete under his feet was replaced with the wet, crumbling rock and charged air of the Thunderfall Shrine. 10 sentences
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 4, 2024 19:14:50 GMT 9
"The secret with distractions is to place them in civilian areas, that way the cops get slowed down! Do you see any 'NPCs' around?" Zac clung to the rusted railing of the building, his knuckles popping with tension as the gritty wind blew in his face. Just like the UPS, not wind, nor rain, nor blindness, nor lack of government funding would stop him hanging out with his niece.
"I've got a metal guy to help with that beacon thing," Buzzster said, grabbing a Pokeball and sending out Shuckle, whose non-metal limbs stuck and unstuck to the rooftop with pleasing pops. "And I brought my coat hanger," he said rummaging around in his bag. After a few failed grabs he gave up and manually emptied his inventory on the rooftop. "Is this it?" he asked, holding up his Feline Seal. A popup appeared, and he slapped it on reflex, applying the seal to his nearest Pokeball. His fuzzy, calico Nyuckle stuck the hanger with one cream tentacle and handed it to him. 10 sentences
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Oct 27, 2023 19:15:14 GMT 9
"Blue?" Buzzster said, shocked by the revelation. "I'm not a fan of that. Nothing good can come of blue." He nodded his head towards Petal to indicate he was talking to her. "I saw a documentary that said that there was no color blue in nature."
"What about the sky?"
"Nope. Apparently it's clear. Blue is just how our eyes interpret the lack of color."
Petal frowned. "What about the ocean?" she asked cautiously.
"More of a sea green. It's in the name, actually. Good try though." Buzzster wandered towards Kitten and Verai. "So this blue door, what else do we know about it? Is the light cold? I don't mess with cold light. Not since the operation-"
"Watch out!"
Zac stepped straight through the doorway and fell into a marsh. He sank two feet into the ground (depth, not anatomical description) and bent forwards, arms waving comically as he slowly fell into the reeds.
"Don't fall!" Petal yelled. Vines show out of her neck, grabbing the reeds into great sheaves and anchoring herself and Zac to them to prevent the pair from falling into the mud. Now stable at a 45 degree angle, Buzzster took stock of the situation.
It smelled of mud, and not the expensive kind. It was the kind stolen in barrowloads from a mangrove swamp, mixed with bath bombs and then sold to a massage house. It was the kind used to bury unwanted birthday presents. It was the kind of mud that crabs lived in.
And unknown to Zac, unseen by any but Petal, was the blue. Everything in the marsh had an odd blue afterimage. The reeds swaying around them left strands of blue on her retinas, as if stamping them with inky needles, and the sky itself was a shocking shade. It was like the world had crashed and the sky was displaying the Blue Screen of Death. Only there were no words. No clouds either. And definitely no sun.
"I don't think we're in Asper anymore," she whispered.
"Don't worry about that," Buzzster said, "just keep a lookout for any damn crabs!"
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Oct 25, 2023 23:30:34 GMT 9
"Oh it's got a secret compartment in it alright," Buzzster said devilishly. He ran a hand over the front of the aluminum pass case, right in front of Chryssa's eyes, and suddenly there was another pocket. A card was poking out of the pocket (always a card), and Zac swiped it deftly. "Is this your card? Sorry. This is your card!" he announced, handing it to his niece.
The card was deep magenta, with all manner of important and arcane symbols on it. On the back, in gorgeous silver lettering was the name Chryssa Blackthorn Glasgow. "I couldn't remember what your middle name was, so I took the liberty of improving it."
"And it'll increase your HP too. Houdini Points, that is! That's how we measure magical power. It's not very accurate, only to the nearest DeciMerlin, but that's enough to get a good read on someone. Anyone I went ahead and got you registered with NASA." He paused, letting the statement sink in. "That's right. The National Association of Sorcerer Apprentices. With a word from me, a signed affidavit, and $120 they put you straight on the register. Abrakedabra! There's a box back at the hotel with your welcome package and everything. Some of the components are a bit, ah, suspect in an airport setting, so I just brought the card. Don't lose this, by the way. It's got some of my blood on it and you'll need it if you're going to inherit my SSN ranking!"
Zac kept yammering on, mentioning particulars of the card, the meaning behind the font, kerning, etc. It was even made of a special kind of glitter-resistant cardboard. About eighty seconds into the spiel he handed Chryssa another present. "Hold this for a sec, I've gotta hit the bathroom before we go through the checkpoint." He trotted off towards the restroom, leaving Chryssa holding the incendiary device.
There were five minutes left.
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Oct 25, 2023 12:35:14 GMT 9
"You've been practicing your sleight of hand!" Zac said, beaming at his niece. "Have you been using that palming ball I gave you for Christmas?" He had half a mind just to let her win, but she'd know and likely be pissed. Well, it was time to up the ante then. "A request? That's a bit old fashioned, isn't it?" Buzzster said, deliberately taunting her, "How about something cooler. Like three wishes?"
He followed her over to the kiosk. Buzzster had been playing UNOVR for months now, and had seen Chryssa three times. And he was beginning to suspect that at least one of those times had been a body double. Untethered by steel and physics, 'Morgana' was never in the same place for long, and he felt like a bloodhound chasing down a leprechaun. But every time seeing her had been worth the chase. He'd fly across the country to chaperone her to a nerd convention. He'd spend all his hard grifted savings just to give her an escape from her home life. Time was money, and he'd spend both on his niece to see her have fun.
It wasn't pity that compelled him. Nor was it purely familial bonds. It was more that Zac saw himself in Chryssa. He saw a young rapscallion born into a world that didn't quite align with them. And that's great! If you're always straight-on with the world then all you'll ever see are bars and walls. But if you're a bit crooked then you can slip through all the cracks. And that's where all the secrets are.
"2452," he said, way too fast. "A bit far down if I'm being honest, but I'm hoping that I can nail a few gigs when I get back and get bumped into the top 1500. I know some magicians think it's 'lame' to keep track of their Sorcerer Succession Number, but I like having clear goals! And the complaints of it being a popularity contest are bullshit. It's a perfect meritocracy. If you're a better magician you get bumped up the list, right? You can never rest on your laurels in this business Chryssa, remember that."
Zac patted himself down, trying to find the device. Instead he found a small package. "Oh! And this is for you," he said, handing her a shockingly well-wrapped present. It was thin, and about hand-length, and covered in way too many ribbons. Hopefully she needed a new pass holder, or else he'd just blown $45.
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Oct 25, 2023 12:01:49 GMT 9
"And then we just pop open the little guy," Buzzster said, tearing the head off a Pikachu plushie and showering a nearby teenager in stuffing and confetti "Ta-da! Was this your card?" he asked the shocked teen. He handed her the bottom half of the Pikachu, which had a holographic Slowbro card protruding from the neck. "And don't ask how it's done, a great magician never reveals where he buys his props."
Just then sirens blared through the merch store. Nearby nerds were putting on cool, futuristic red/blue glasses. Buzzster looked around for police but relaxed when he realized it was just a boss battle. "Oh! I read about this in the pamphlet!" he said, pulling out his pamphlet and tapping the part where it said 'AR Glasses included'. "Heh. You'll need to get up pretty early to pull one over on a Ramsay, ay Chryssa?" He looked around for his niece. She was missing. Lost in the heavily occupied height bracket of toddlers and other seated teens.
He spotted a waving hand. He pushed past a group of battlers (including Aero and Wolf), and slid around a masterfully crafted replica of Moltres. They'd have to come back after the battle for a photo. He slipped on his AR glasses and handed the second pair to Bergamot Gristleborg (she hated carrying her own things). "So what are we fight- ARRRRGH!" Buzzster shouted, as a massive duck materialized in the Pokemon Center. "That's the boss, right? That big pink and blue thing?" He rolled up his sleeves and took out his phone. "So it's one of these app things?" he asked, opening settings. After a few minutes of looking over people's shoulders to see what he was doing wrong he managed to open the correct app. "Nice! So now I just tap the screen?"
He launched an attack at C0D13_2 and red text popped up.
NOT VERY EFFECTIVE...
"What? But I bloody hit it didn't I? Chryssa let me use your phone. Mine's 'bugged' or something."
{Damage Roll}D7eqNlhw2d100+20 +10 (Interact with Previous Post) +10 (Merch) Damage Dealt: 136 Attack type used: vs C0D13_2 HP: 1,449/5,000 2d100+20
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Sept 1, 2023 0:42:02 GMT 9
"Big heads run in the family," Buzzster said, shifting the luggage easily to one shoulder and bending down to smother his niece in a welcoming hug, "Connie was in labor for almost seventeen hours pushing out your huge melon! Not to mention your great aunt. Did you know they used to have to order in special hats for her down at the ranch? It took two and a half hides just to craft her a Stetson that didn't look like a damn party hat! I say it's all the brains, but if you ask me being double-jointed would be more of a boon."
"Nothing wrong with singing for you dinner," Buzzster said as they made for the exit. "It's when they ask you to dance that you've gotta be careful. That's a slippery slope."
He met Chryssa's gleaming eyes, his own sparkling like counterfeit rubies. "A wager? What's on the line then? Dinner? Dessert? Another one of those fancy game machines? Let me make sure I'm all limbered up." He cracked his neck loud enough that a nearby woman jumped. Then he unzipped Chryssa's bag and pulled out a white dove. He handed it to her, and then reached under its wing to pull out a Queen of Hearts with the words 'That big head of yours certainly stands out' written on it in pink sharpie. "Yep! Seems like I've still got it. Fire away!"
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jun 22, 2023 16:49:40 GMT 9
"A signature move?" Zac said, zooming through the air, "that's easy! Performances are my forte!" And it wasn't a lie, either! He'd been a stage magician in Vegas for decades, and as little as Zac knew about Pokemon, video games, flying, or social cues, he sure as hell knew how to put on a good show.
He was starting to get the hang of this whole 'flying' thing, and he swooped in elegant sine-waves moving up and down through the smoky air.
"I've got a plan!" he called to his teammates, who were probably nearby. "You two hang on and I'll put us into a de- uh, a demonstration of aerial prowess...spiral." He could feel his Gardener powers already coming to life, and his sleeves overflowed with fragrant flowers. He was going to release them during the finale.
"Just grab on friends!" he called to Kallisto and Morpheus. "We'll show these judges a real signature move!"
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jun 18, 2023 15:55:19 GMT 9
Zac took to flight like a newborn Ducklett to water, which is to say not very well, at risk of death, and very, very thankful for the life-saving assistance of his teammates Kallisto and Morpheus. With their shouted advice he managed soar clear through the ring and, following the sounds of cheering and explosions, pedaled his bike into a slow turn that took him out past the training field boundaries and then back towards the flight zone.
"We did it guys!" Buzzster called, disregarding the fact that they had completed 1/3 of the assigned work. "I'm coming back!"
Again, his flight was spotty, and with no way of telling where the green light was shining the next test would be completely impossible for him to complete on his own. "This calls for teamwork!" he said, angling the nose of his bike down in a startling trajectory.
"I'll swing straight through and pick you up and then we can all ride to the green beam together!" he called to his team, aiming at where he assumed they would be standing. "You two just scream my name so I know where you are!"
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jun 12, 2023 19:37:37 GMT 9
"Big portal to the North? Shrine? Friend? Nah we definitely haven't been to Mistra then," Zac said, and Chikorita shook her head to confirm. "The land of darkness where it's always night rings a bell, but that may just be wherever this is." He gestured around himself and banged his arm on one of the obelisks.
"Watch out!" Chikorita warned, way too late. "And this is the Surge Steppes."
"Yeah that's what I said," Buzzster complained, rubbing his arm.
Verai kept talking (an admirable trait, in Zac's opinion), and he grasped on to passing pieces of conversation like a man drowning in the shallow end of a swimming pool. "Yeah the sudden darkness! That's what happened to me!" he said loudly, and Chikorita bent away from his mouth, looking displeased. "Wait you can't see anything either? Well how do you get around. Oh! Kitten, that's right. Good thing we both have the help of these little felines."
"That reindeer..." Buzzster said, restless mind finally settling on a topic for more than a few seconds. "I feel like it was a very powerful Pokemon. Like it moved with strength, power, and gravitas. Have you ever seen Queen live? It was like if Freddie Mercury was a deer. I got this sense that it was making a grand entrance." He tapped his foot, deep in thought. "And that gate. Now I haven't been around a lot but it sure didn't seem familiar to me. Is there a gate like that in the settlement or something?"
Kitten interrupted with breaking news and Zac felt excitement bubble in his chest. "Evolve? I didn't know we could do that!" This Kitten was a Pokemon, so it only stood to reason that it would be the undisputed authority on evolution. "I didn't grow bigger...I don't think, but hey I've been telling people all my life that I was the final stage of human evolution. Now I can back it up!" He laughed, full of triumph.
|
|
|
Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jun 12, 2023 19:14:13 GMT 9
As CLAW took Zac's seeing-eye Chikorita, a trickle of cold sweat raced down his spine. He knew his team, sure, but there was a definite fear in his mind now that his 'eyes' were gone. "Well guys, I'll go first, ay?" he said, swinging one leg over the bike.
"It's just like riding a bike," he said to himself as he hunched over the flying bike-copter. "Nothing crazy, right? Just pedals and body weight for steering and speed." It was a good guess, and one that hopefully was enough to carry him through the finishing...ring.
"Am I lined up right?" he asked Morpheus and, once he got the all clear, he started to pedal. "Too fast or too slow?" he called to Kallisto. "Should I give it more steak sauce?"
It probably wasn't the best time to be using slang, but if not now then when?
|
|
|