Buzzster Hooperham
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The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Mar 13, 2023 0:14:39 GMT 9
"Big hairy bugger," Buzzster explained. He wracked his brain for a basic Pokemon analogy. "Imagine if you were about ten times as big, and stood up on your back legs. Just some massive, muscular menace all covered in fur as black as winter darkness. Taller than me and able to rip a man in half!"
Zac had no idea that the Litten would some day fulfil that prophecy, and his mental image was far from accurate.
"It's, uh, a bloody Christmas tree I guess. Looks worse for wear though. Is it made of candy canes?" Zac gave it an experimental lick. It tasted like a farm salt lick.
Corsola screamed and Zac shouted out. He slammed a ball into the Pokemon and it disappeared in a flash of red.
"I can guarantee it's not peppermint," he said gravely.
He was itching for another chance at pulling in a winner, but didn't want to disturb Verai's hunting. "Let's give the Buble a rest for a sec."
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Mar 9, 2023 22:47:26 GMT 9
"No problems there, I can talk enough for the two of us," Zac assured him, as his feline friend focused on the placid waters around them. Was he going to try and catch a fish by hand? "Getting in there hands first ay?" Buzzster asked, taking another swig of his flask. "I saw a bear do that up in Montana one time, but they kicked me out of the club bathroom before I could see how it ended."
There was a nibble on his bait. "Whoa! I think I've got someone comin' in for a bite of my rhinestone Gucci, if you catch my drift." He looked over at the caterwalling Litten. "Crank up the Buble, I'm bringing it in!"
And in a wash of freshwater spray, swearing, and helpful vines from his Chikorita, Buzzster landed the [Bigness]x_HiZ9801d100 [Description]1d90 [Blarney]1d100! 1d100·1d90·1d100
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Mar 6, 2023 14:21:45 GMT 9
Link to Successful Egg HuntTHE ROOKERY GIVES YOU...[DarkEgg]RpeJfbQc1d200 EggHatch your egg IC to add this Pokemon to your Storage Box! 1d200
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Mar 5, 2023 11:14:34 GMT 9
GAMEPLAY GOALS Zac's goals in game are simple. He wants to find his niece Bergamot Gristleborg. She was the one who invited (tricked) him to buy the game and spend more quality time with her, but she never seems to be online! At least that's what Zac assumes, since he doesn't know how the friends list works, what a friends list is, or really any way to find Morgana outside of asking NPCs and other players.
Once he's spent quality time with his niece, he wants to maybe meet a nice, long-legged woman who likes magic and recruit her as his assistant for his Vegas show. But that's a distant second goal.
For now, he's happy to explore the world of UNOVR.
MECHANICAL GOALS
UNLOCK SEER:
Figure out how the UI works
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Mar 5, 2023 11:02:34 GMT 9
Zac was stuck deep in the snowbank. Thankfully, La Trixxia was having no more of his bullshit today, and with a burst of flame she burned a dainty hole and escaped back into the Winter sunlight. "I"m all good!" Buzzster called to Aero through the little hole in the snowbank. "Sorry for the near miss there bud."
He crawled through the hole of molten snow, digging a path to accommodate a man of his size. Buzzster character had set the height and shoulder-width sliders to maximum. Not out of a vain attempt to appear bigger than he was in real life, but because he was just that big. To be honest, his tech skills weren't quite Bill Gates level, and he had accepted the default model created from his mental body image.
This is all to say that Zac was a hell of a lot bigger than his Vulpix, and there was a lot of digging and muffled swearing before he was free of the snow. Once he was free he lay on the snow, catching his simulated breath. He looked up at Aero. "So what brings you out here?" he asked nonchalantly.
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Mar 5, 2023 10:50:44 GMT 9
"Perfect! That sounds just like his Christmas album!" Buzzster said as Littleo's yowling carried across the still lake. "With that racket going on they'll come swimming in no time. Hell, we might even have fish jumping up into the boat!"
He took another swig of the flask and set it down on the seat next to him. "Glad to have you," Zac said to his fishing partner "you're the perfect mix of quiet company and hunter. I told you that fishing is applied psychology, and who can get into their heads better than a catman!" He laughed at the half-joke, and wiggled his lure. He could already feel something nibbling.
"Did you bring a rod, or is this going to be a 'two guys one carp' type of situation?"
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Mar 1, 2023 10:16:33 GMT 9
Zac shot down the slopes like a greased marble across hotel linoleum. His hunkered form carved a straight line down the mountain, which should have been the first sign that something was wrong.
Professionals weaved and curved, modulating their speed to maintain control.
Zac had other ideas.
He hurtled straight towards the biggest jump on the mountain: The Widowmaker II
"Ve are go'in much tu' fast!" said the Vulpix clinging to his back. Buzzster tried to shake his head, but the speed kept him looking straight ahead.
"It's fine!" he said through gritted teeth. "I'm gonna hit the jump!"
"No it's not! Yu don' no' 'ow to slow down, do you!" La Trixxia accused. Her dainty claws dug into Zac's shoulder. Aero loomed into view, a bright, breakable form on the otherwise clear runway of Zac's Icarus-esque flight. "Careful! Zere iz a kid!"
Zac tried to turn, but ended up just flipping around so that he was now hurtling towards the young trainer backwards.
Frantic, La Trixxia bit Zac's ear and he crumpled in pain. The pair hit the hard packed ground in a tangle of skis, red fur, and rental gear, tumbling past Aero and landing straight in a huge snow bank off to the side of the slope.
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Mar 1, 2023 2:33:58 GMT 9
Petal giggled at Bulbasaur's headbutt. She dipped a curtsey and tried her best to look like she was evergreen. "I like your bulb," she said flirtily. This was the first time in ages that she had met a Grass Pokemon. For months it had just been her, Buzzster, and that stupid French Vulpix.
"Water Pokemon ay?" Buzzster said, nodding along as if he'd seen one before. "Yeah, yeah. You know I love those wet little guys. I've got just the one."
He turned side on to Vanta so that the other trainer wouldn't see him reach into his pocket and grab his burner phone. He blind-dialed his real phone (which was in his other pocket). A default ringtone played loudly.
"Oh damn and heck, I gotta take this!" He said, pulling out the phone and answering the call from his other pocket. "Hello? Yeah this is the church. Ahuh. Yeah I'll be right there." He nodded to Vanta in a 'keep up the good work' way and hurried off into a back room.
Zac found a dry space on a counter and took out his emergency egg.
He looked up at the sky and pressed his hands together in prayer. "I know you don't usually answer selfish requests. Make your own luck and all that. But if you're listening I could really use a Water Pokemon right now. I don't know any and that painter guy is gonna ask me for my favorite one again and I'll look a damn fool if I can't name one. From one hustler to another. I hope you're listening Charlie Sheen."
He cracked the egg against the counter, and against all rhyme and reason it was exactly what he needed: a wet bug.
You hatched Surskit!
The name Surskit hung in the air for a few seconds. "Vegas law dictates I have to name you after whoever I was thinking about when you were born. Welcome to the team Charlie!"
He picked up the baby by several of its legs and hurried back into the church. "Hey! I like this one! Surskit! Paint that on the wall!"
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Feb 20, 2023 14:09:52 GMT 9
"uh...hey!" Buzzster said, frowning a little at the strange greeting. Well, it look all types to make a world, and if the church chose to hire some hyper-tattooed, socially awkward teenager to do their interior decorating then that was their business.
"The weather is great!" Chikorita chimed in, before Zac could reassure Vanta that he wasn't about to kill him. Petal hurried over to Bulba Fett and offered one of her vines in a strange, floral handshake. "I love the rain, don't you?" she asked.
Zac wandered closer, and though his stature and posture bespoke power and confidence, Vanta would never be in any real danger. Buzzster had never been in a fight he hadn't staged beforehand (or escaped from with a smoke bomb and a change of clothes). His hands may be huge, but that just made card magic easier. Strangling was just a one-way ticket to cramped joints.
He peered up at the wall, primed and ready, and at the trays of paints, swatches, and half mixed pigments. "Well, looks like you're deep into this." He dabbled with some of the pigment, combining them poorly into a color that looked like a ripe peach. Spontaneously, he dipped his finger into the tray of 'Sunset Mirage'. He sniffed the paint, and then licked his finger. Surprisingly, it didn't taste as good as it looked. Few things ever did.
"That one needs some work," he said, wiping his finger on a nearby cloth. "So what are you going to paint first?" Buzzster asked, realizing halfway through the question that he was about to display his absolute lack of artistic knowledge and religious iconography. "The, uh, backup dancers?"
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Feb 18, 2023 9:35:07 GMT 9
Zac had been to church exactly seven times (not counting his baptism). Three times as a groom, twice as a best man, once as a bride (long story), and one more just last year when The Great Pope-ini from his Circle of Magi in Vegas had agreed to trade him a fake boating license in exchange for some holy water.
In none of those 8 situations had he escaped with his dignity or full liver function.
He stood across the street from the Church, watching the summer rain sluice across its roof. "Okay. Quick in and out, right?" he said to his Chikorita. "We'll scope the place out for jewels, see where they keep all those Jesus disks and the mid-tier booze, and best case scenario there's a weird basement that we can take some pics of to 'convince' the priest to give us a pass into the Good Place. Sound good?"
Chikorita shivered, terrified of what was happening. Petal had only a basic grasp of the law, but she was learning to trust her gut when she felt something was Wrong.
Unfortunately, Buzzster's question had been hypothetical, and before she could stutter out a complaint he had burst from the cover of the wooden awning and was sprinting up the steps of the church.
She squealed and galloped after him, her head leaf shielding her face from the worst of the rain.
Zac dodged the front doors and slipped around back, entering through the side door. Inside, he was instantly hit by a familiar smell.
Not the usual church smell of octagenarian perfume, crumpling prayer books, and ass-polished wood, but something fresher.
He noticed a young man was painting the wall.
"Oh! Sorry to bother you, mate!" Buzzster said, "I thought we'd scheduled the painter for midnight tomorrow"
His brain spun as he tried to salvage the situation. Only a fool cased the same place twice.
He took two cautious steps into the room. "Mind if I, uh, check out your work so far? The priest is pretty picky about his color palettes."
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Feb 17, 2023 0:57:59 GMT 9
"Fishing is just applied psychology," Buzzster told his unfortunate fishing partner. He leaned back in the dingy and took a deep drink from his flask. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and offered the flask to his partner before continuing.
"Fish are like women, which means they're attracted to three things." He held up three lures for emphasis. Each of them was heavily bedazzled.
He untangled his sandals from the fishing line at the bottom of the boat and attached the lures to the end.
"Fish love Michael Buble, fake diamonds, and brand name handbags."
He whipped out a pocket knife and scratched a Gucci symbol into each of the lures. Then, with a swift flick of his wrist he whipped the fishing rod in a perfect cast, send the lures arcing gracefully into the pond.
"Now I can't sing. This mouth was made for fast talking and faster loving. So you're going to have to do the singing. Alright?"
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Jan 1, 2023 13:09:57 GMT 9
Claiming 230 Bytes for Zac! Happy New Year!
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Dec 31, 2022 17:09:42 GMT 9
Claiming Gimmighoul and Varoom as Buzzster Hooperham
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
|
Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Dec 11, 2022 20:23:39 GMT 9
Zac didn't know what a Neopet was. Hell, he hardly knew what a Pocket Monster was, but if there was one thing he did know it was a payday! And as the thin Winter light snapped and sparkled on the islands of frozen treasure in the Snomager's laken lair, he stepped valiantly into the icy rowboat.
"Whoo! Colder in here than a Thanksgiving at the ex-in-laws, amirite?" he asked Petal and La Trixxia, his captive audience. "I mean talk about frosty, I haven't been this cold since I spent 8 months hiding in Alaskan to avoid the draft!"
La Trixxia let out a well-trained fake laugh, a titter muffled by one of her paws. "'ow 'umerous."
Petal didn't laugh, she was too busy turning blue. The flowers on her neck had retreated back into buds, and had shut tight against the frost. "Can we just get going, please?"
Happy with a 50% approval rating, Buzzster grabbed an oar and paddled out into the lake. He set his sights on the nearest island, and in minutes he was bumping up along side it like a degenerate on a dancefloor. And like that same hypothetical dancefloor shake-up, Buzzster had just one thing on his mind: booty.
"Well hello there beautiful," Buzzster said, reaching for an item half stuck in the ice. It was a mirror, with the handle and half of the face sticking above the frost line. The rest was hidden underneath.
"I think we should go," Petal said, her whole body shuddering as the cold froze her like a daisy in mid winter.
"'ere, let me wom you," La Trixxia offered, and she wrapped the freezing little Chikorita in a luxurious swaddle of six, sizzling tails.
Meanwhile, Buzzster had one leg up on the frozen bank, and was wrenching at the stuck mirror like it was a stubborn groundhog stuck in its hole. "Come on ya bastard!" he growled through gritted teeth. There was a CRACK as the mirror broke and Zac, prize in hand, tumbled backwards and fell straight into the freezing lake. 300+ Going up 1 Numbers: 23, and 24
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Buzzster Hooperham
•
The Quizmaster
Player Character
Posts: 132
Trainer Class:
Player Name: Buzzster Hooperham
OOC Username: D-Bug
Arena Points: 70
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Post by Buzzster Hooperham on Nov 29, 2022 23:45:26 GMT 9
Zac was no hero. In many ways he was the opposite of a hero. He wasn't the sort of guy that solved problems, he was the one who created them, and he certainly didn't save people being chased by sentient lawnmowers. Not unless the whole thing was part of an insurance scam.
But as Finnegan Fjord 's shouts of help carried across the partially-mowed lawn, they pulled at his heart strings. "Maybe..." he said, licking his lips tentatively as he watched the Rotom careen at full speed towards the pool. "Maybe if we say it was an electrical fault we can sue HUSQVARNA. Especially if Finnegan Fjord gets injured. I bet they'd settle out of court too. John Deer does it all the time for tractor dismemberment cases."
Unfortunately, Buzzster's dreams of a stonking great digital life-insurance payout were dashed against the rocks of reality as Finn saved himself, clipping through the wall of the house and into the 'safety' of the kitchen.
A moment later and Orion was on the scene, tearing into the mower like a grizzly bear tearing into a garbage bag full of $1 cheeseburgers. Scrap flew everywhere, and Zac breathed a sigh of relief, rubbing his hands together as he turned his attention back to the garage. Unfortunately, aside from a box of Christmas lights there was slim pickings left, and with Mom now wise to their antics, and the air smelling more and more like smoke, Buzzster cheesed it out through the side door.
"Okay, where to now?" he asked Vulpix and Chikorita, as he shoved the Christmas lights into his pockets and tried unsuccessfully to add the two detached smoke alarms to his inventory.
"Ze junkyard aught to 'ave valuable pieces," La Trixxia said, her six tails swishing as the trio headed back towards their starting spot. "And wiff everyone in ze 'ouse we'll be far away from zeir prying eyes, no?"
"Good call Trixie! Let's get on it!"
A few minutes later and they were at the gates to the junkyard, staring up at the Skarmory that was (for now) happily snoozing atop a pile of- "solid bloody gold," Buzzster breathed, watching Guillotine pull at the tangle of abandoned wagon wheels. "Okay you two I've got a plan. You know how you can cook ants with a magnifying glass?"
"Huh?"
"Oui."
"Well we don't have one, but Trixie can make light, and Petal, you can magnify it through some sort of plant stuff, right? Like, uh, photocopying, right? Where you make the light into energy?"
Ever eager to please, Chikorita nodded along, looking incredibly stressed by the request, "Okay! I'll do my best!"
Meanwhile, La Trixxia was already breathing a gentle flame, which she whirled and shaped until it was a glowing ball of fire that reminded Zac of the flaming hula dancers from his honeymoon luau. "Okay that's perfect. Now just photocopy that and burn that bird!"
Petal set to work, layering Reflects and Light Screens above and below the fireball, and the glow only intensified as the captured light ricocheted up and down, trapped between two impenetrable layers. Light leaked from the seams, and the affront to physics glowed like a sandwich made by Marie Curie.
"Perfect!" Buzzster said, not looking directly at what he had wrought. "Now just release it at the bird!"
Petal shook, terrified of what they had created. "Uh. Are you sure?"
"Yeah! What's the worst that could happen?"
Petal removed the top layer of screens and instantly all hell broke loose. The ball of concentrated light became a beam of pure, blistering, molten malice, and it carved through the junkyard landscape like a fire hose through a child's sandcastle.
It melted a fridge into a pool of scrap, obliterated a pile of photo albums, and bisected an old cream sofa, neatly carving it into a black two-piece living room set.
IFtUeKHl1d6x10 Luck Points +10 Used a fire move to generate light +20 Used Light Screen + Reflect to abuse the physics engine of the game and burn a hole through the junkyard +10 (Teamwork) for not stopping the mower, thereby working with Finn to try and create a lucrative HUSQVARNA damages lawsuit
Mechanical: 180/300 Scrap: 100/200 Electrical: 170/400 (+60 from the Christmas lights, smoke alarms, and various shit taken from the junkyard) Wagon: 100/100 1d6
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